Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Being Single on Valentines Day... is it really a problem?

I've seen several posts floating around on blogger about being single.  Many of them are very good points emphasizing how we, as singles, shouldn't be worried about it and how we need to have Jesus as first in our life. However, I've also seen those with the "Happy Single's Awareness Day".


Why is it that we DO make such a big deal out of being single... on Valentine's day? It seems like we don't mind it as much on other days, but come Valentines day, we are glum, envious of those that do have a 'special person', and generally feeling lonely.

Quite frankly, the only reason I'd like a guy for Valentine's day is so that he can bring me chocolates.  Ok, I'm joking.  However, this is a pretty serious matter.

In the Bible, Paul exhorts us to use our time wisely while we are single.  In fact, he tells us that it is GOOD to be single.  We are much better able to serve Jesus when we are single because we don't have to worry about a family to take care of, household duties that need to be done, etc.

So, why is it that we tend to get a bit melancholy on Valentines day?

Well, let's face it.  God made us to want to be married, to have a partner in life.  However, He also gave us that wonderful thing called Passion.  This is what we should have for Jesus Christ our Lord.  We should have a passion for Him beyond anything we have ever felt for any one. Period.

So yes, it's fun to think about the day when we will have that special someone to share Valentine's with, but at the same time, we should be glad that we ARE still single because we are better able to serve our Lord.  When we're single, He is able to use us in ways that He can't when we're married.

Now, I'm not saying that we shouldn't get married. In fact, that is a beautiful thing that God has created.  I'm just pointing out that we really shouldn't be bothered by being single on Valentines day. :-)

So, for all you singles out there, go and serve the Lord! Let Him use you in those special ways.

In Christ's Service,

P.S. I'll be posting pictures of our family's valentines dinner tomorrow or sometime later.. ;-)


Tangerine-Tane said...

Great post, Sarah. ;)

Lily Marie said...

AMEN!! =)
I didn't need a special Valentine this year. Jesus was mine. And also, my daddy bought me roses. So it was good. ;)

Carolyn said...

I personally don't see why being single on Valentine's Day is bad. (Yes I know it is easy to say that when married...) Growing up Valentine's Day was about giving candy and cards to friends and loved ones. It didn't matter if I received anything romantic or not. Just as long as I had stuff to give to friends, and, lets face it, what kid doesn't love getting cards and candy? Shoot, I have had less to do with Valentine's since getting married. It is no big deal. Especially since Valentine's day wasn't started around something romantic anyway. I think it was something about a shoot out, or something violent like that...

Lilac Bud Gal said...

Thanks Tane!! :)

Lily Marie,
Yup! That is very sweet of your dad to have done that! Usually my dad gets a tiny box of chocolates for all of us kids. :)

I agree with you. I was telling my sis and Mom about this post and Becs gave a great thought about valentines. She and I really don't think about how we don't have any one special for the day. It just doesn't really cross our minds. But, we realized that we have made it a 'family day', and not a 'romantic' day. Two people get to make a surprise dinner that evening. We close off the kitchen with curtains and make it really fun. It involves the whole family, isn't 'romantic', and is just an enjoyable evening. I think that for those who do make a big deal out of valentines (and there is nothing wrong with that) are more liable to being disappointed that they don't have that special someone.
And yes, St. Valentines day started out as nothing romantic. If I am remembering correctly, Valentine was an outlaw. An outlaw because he was a Christian and now following the current religion (Catholic or Protastant, whichever king/queen was ruling at the time.) So, he was hanged, or died, on the day that we set aside for romantic dinners. Yeah, kind of funny. ;) Thanks for your comment!

Anonymous said...

Very good post, Sarah!

I completely agree with your points.
It's easy to get unhappy over a holiday that is waaaay too commercialized, and didn't even start out romantic, just because a good majority of the population is all into it.

While we may not THINK we are doing much to serve the Lord right now, we have WAY more time now then we every will when we are married. As you said, we should count ourselves blessed to still be single because that means we have more time to serve the Lord, which is even more important than being married (even though it is a blessed calling).
Besides,we can still do fun things on that day that don't require a husband! ;)
Like you, we like to make a special meal for our parents and decorate the table/house pretty.
I also like to wear pink, do my hair, paint my nails, etc. All fun things that don't require a single other person to make it enjoyable.
Besides, if we are always looking to the future to bring that joy that we *think* will come, we will be wasting the precious single time God has blessed us with!!

I have no clue if it is His will for me to marry. Sometimes I think it is, and other times I think I will never find a guy that would meet my "requirements". And yet I have a peace knowing that God is in control, and no matter what the future holds I can entrust it to Him.

Jessica said...

I hope I don't sound like a cynic, but I really really love my life. I'm content, and my relationship status isn't changing anytime soon! lol :)

Prairie Momma said...

Good post, and I agree 100%. I don't even think of Valentine's day as romantic or anything because we have such a wonderful time with the family. I love traditions that draw us closer to family and away from the pull of Hallmark.....

Seeking to follow said...

I couldn't agree more. Being single is a special time, not a handicap! :)

Lilac Bud Gal said...

Thank you for your wonderful comment sharing your thoughts. :) It's nice to hear when other people agree with you! ;) I know what you mean about the whole getting married thing. I used to always think I'd get married right after high school... looks like that's not gonna happen! ;) But, like you said, He may not have it in His will to let me get married. and if I'm always looking forward to the time of getting married instead of focusing on Jesus and what REALLY matters, then I have lived for naught. My life has been wasted when I could have been living for something SO much better. :) Thanks for sharing your thoughts, dear!

Amen! It is wonderful to hear you say that! Mostly because it is nice to know that you really can be content being single and doing what you're doing (yes, I admit. Even though I do posts like this it doesn't mean I'm perfect and sometimes I still sit there and dream and wish for a guy that I can marry!). Thanks for you comment!! :)

Yup! I was laughing last night, actually, because I was thinking that you and dad hadn't gone on a valentine's day date in forever.. but you all don't have to because you two know how to just have a good time whenever! :) Love you!

Seeking to Follow,
Thank you for the comment! I appreciate it. :)

Marissa said...

Great post Sarah. I heartily agree. I've felt this way for several years. I've never been a fan of "Singles' Awareness Day". God will bring our spouse to us in His timing and it will be wonderful (and get chocolates on Valentines' Day) =) but right now we have been given the gift of singleness. Our single years are years in which we can learn to fully serve the Lord in whatever way He calls us too. He will continue to use us when we are married, but right now we have fewer distractions and more time on our hands.

Keep pressing on. =)


Kellen said...

I seem to have got bothered on Valentine this year,

I have to say your letter really encouraged me!

Thank you soooo much for your post...and to all the other comments, thanks girls and lady's!

Keep posting ya'll!

Lilac Bud Gal said...

Thanks for your comment, dear! :) Glad to see you stopped by. :) Love ya!

Thank you very much for your comment. I'm so glad the post encouraged you. I'm praying that whatever it was you said bothered you on Valentines is over with. God bless you!