When His Grace is Sufficient

Too often I try to be a perfect little Christian. You know, the kind where we always put on a face, no matter how we're feeling. We had to give such a perfect image... or at least, that's what we feel like we have to do. Yet, day by day, I fail miserably at this formidable task. Look happy when I'm as low as dirt?  Try to make others feel good when I myself am crying from all the pain on the inside?

Let's try to be realistic about this for just a moment. We feel this pressure that, as Christians, we have this higher standard to uphold. That suddenly, being sinners saved by Grace, we now have to act like saved by Grace people and throw that sinner part in the wind. Oh wait, I just remembered... we can't.  We're sinners. Period. Before we were saved by Christ's blood, we were sinners. After we were saved by Christ's blood, we're still sinners.

Yes, we are covered and our names are in the lamb's book of life, but the point is, we're still sinners.  I don't know about you, but I'm rather weary of trying to pretend I'm something that I'm not.  I can't continue going on, day by day, pretending that all is well with me when it isn't. Yes, we are called to a higher standard now of living, but that doesn't mean that we won't sometimes stumble... and when we do, we experience that grace and mercy all over again. Why do you think there are so many verses TO CHRISTIANS in the bible talking about God's mercies are new every morning or turning away from our wicked ways?  It's because God KNEW we would continue to fall into sin. He knew it from the beginning of creation, before we were even brought into existence.

Just recently I experienced one of my 'down moods'. You know, the ones where everything just kinda hits you like a train? All those emotions go flooding through your mind and you feel as if you're going to drown in it all. Unfortunately, I was at a party... not a great place to suddenly have a 'break down', for lack of better words. But hey, gotta get hit at the most inopportune times, right? 

Thankfully, one of my 'Titus 2 women' noticed and helped me get away. We snuck back to her room and we talked. She encouraged and lifted me up when I needed it most... but the thing she said to me that stuck the most was that 'God can handle all of your big emotions'.  See, I was feeling guilty, yes, guilty, for being so emotional. What was wrong with me anyway? Everyone else was having a grand ol' time and I was ruining it by letting my emotions come into play. Of course, I didn't ruin anyone's day and everyone had a wonderful time, thankfully.  But it was good for me to be reminded of that simple fact; that God can handle my big emotions.

Too often I forget the whole point of my relationship with Christ. Sometimes I start viewing it as a 'Father up in Heaven.... who looks down at us'.... but I kind of forget that whole 'Father' part... I mean, when I have a problem, I love talking to my dad about it. Why? Because he's so full of wisdom and good advice... so why do I forget that my Father in Heaven is the same way and just as approachable as my father on earth?  Because as soon as I forget that, everything else comes crashing in.

Thoughts of doubt fill my head, I start feeling like a failure. All these problems start rising up, so I put more burdens on my shoulders. I try to carry it all and when my knees finally buckle under the crushing weight, I blame myself and feel guilty for not being joyful about it and putting on a face.

It's like we forgot that relationship with Christ. He is the one Who wants to carry our burdens for us. Yet somehow we feel like we have to do it all ourselves. And here's why, for me anyway, I think I do it.  I feel like it's  a 'proving myself good enough' kind of thing. Like, I can handle it because 'I'm a good Christian and I know how to deal with all this junk'.... but apparently, I don't. Because the way we're supposed to handle that junk, as Christians, is to give it to God.   We're not supposed to try holding it all ourselves. We can't. We physically, emotionally, and mentally can't truly handle all of it. And God knew that. Again, He gives us mercy and tells us that He knows we can't handle it and what we need to do is to give it to Him because He can.

Yet again, however, we do this thing of turning our backs on that offer. We don't need His help. We can handle it because, after all, I've got God... oh wait...

So I stop and think for a moment and realize just how silly I'm being. Here I talk about the fact that 'I'm just a sinner who's been saved by Grace' and yet I act like I was just 'saved by Grace' as if I didn't have anything to be saved from, really. As if I'm perfect and I live a happy and wonderful life because if I dare to say anything to the contrary, I'll be snapped at.

But who are these 'people' we fear are snapping at us? Who do we fear to be judged by? Other Christians? Just people in general? And yet, they are the one thing that we shouldn't worry about at all. Because we don't need their approval ratings. We only need God's. Yet time and time again I find myself wondering if people are going to approve of this action or that. If people will think I'm lame because I did this or that. Or if I will lose my witness because I've crumbled under the weight of my burdens.

Then those words come running back through my mind.... "God is big enough to handle it all."

Why do I keep trying to be perfect when I already know it's impossible? It's like trying to put toothpaste back in the tube... it ain't happin'.

However, there is a standard to live by. But the wonderful thing is that, though we have instructions on how we now need to live our lives and grow in Christ, we still have the verses that remind us of God's mercy. He knows it's a journey, one that lasts a lifetime. As we walk along our path, there will be days when we are solid and tight. But there will also be days when the pain and grief that surround us come crashing in over our walls and we have to learn to let go.  We just have to close our eyes, hold out our hands and let God rescue us.

Stop listening to the lies about how we have to be perfect. Because, as my Titus 2 woman friend also reminded me, if we were perfect, there would be no room for God. No need for Him. And that is actually a very sad thought. I can't imagine my life without Christ. He is my everything, but that doesn't mean that I'm not also human and a sinner and I will still fail on my quest to become like Him. Sometimes I just have to let His grace be sufficient for me. I have to stop holding on and just be held, broken as I may be. He will hold me together if I let Him.

Drama, The Wintons, a Surprise Visit, and a Bunch of Random Stuff

First Topic:  Drama!!

Oh, the exciting life with all the drama!!.... not.  Actually, it's about our Drama group, though I suppose that all of you got that.

Any how, I am extremely happy about the play that we are doing this semester.  It is a comedy called "Hollywood Hillbillies".  Very funny and very reminiscent of our first one.  We were going to try doing some actual dramas, but our audience loves the comedies. And, as one gentleman put it, "we have enough drama in our lives that we don't need to watch it..". I agree!  It's a great thing for families to get together and go to an event that each member will enjoy, and they will laugh and talk about later.

There are three types of characters: Your average Joe, Hollywood snooty people, and hillbillies.  I get to be a hillbilly.  Frankly, I don't have to do a whole lot of acting to do my part. ;-)

Here are a few pictures from Tuesday at Drama practice.

 The Famous, well loved Director

 Sitting in the rows, gathering for mom's pep talk. ;-) 

 Gathering and plopping for "Script Reading Circle".  We decided it was much easier to just sit on the floor than to gather all the chairs for kids to sit on. 

 I have no idea what's wrong with this picture....

 Visitin' away

 Gram Hawley (me) and Cousin Clem 

 Greeting our stuck up Hollywood relatives

 Bubba (Caleb)."He's got this thing about crawling..."

 "Stand on your own two feet like you wuz human."

 Giving his cousins a "vulgar", as they would call it, welcome.

Waiting for his cue.

So, after drama, we went to a friends house (their girls are in the drama group) and hung out, had dinner, etc. We girls started recording another radio drama and had a blast. Then, we all loaded up and went to see the Wintons in Concert!  If no one has heard of the Wintons, they are an amazing Bluegrass Music group.  It is the father and his two sons.  They. Were. Amazing! I love bluegrass music any way where you can hear the banjo, guitar, mandolin, Dobro, etc. It's especially fun when you add a fiddle.. but I'm partial there.  In any case, this was truly spectacular. I really enjoyed it.  I did get a couple of videos of them playing, but as blogger still doesn't like it when I upload videos, I won't be able to share them at this time.  The one song I did not video, and I am extremely bummed that I didn't, was when the boys did Dueling Banjos. That is my ultimate favorite bluegrass song, and probably one that every bluegrass player knows.  Cody and Jessie, however, did an amazing twist with it that was totally enjoyable. They had lots of fun doing it, and you could tell.  So, I am SOOOOO bummed that I didn't get it recorded!!  I ended up getting so excited that they were playing it (and dedicated it to me, I might add!) that I totally forgot to record! *slaps forehead*.  And, you ask, how in the world did they dedicate it to me?  Well, it was actually my mom and myself.  They asked the audience (which wasn't that big, I might add) who had heard of dueling banjos. Mom and I were the only ones that nodded or whatever. So, they said they dedicated it to us. ;-) Any how, it was fun. Perhaps another time I will get to record it as I hope to go to another one of their concerts if they are ever in the area. :-)

A few pictures... Sorry they are kind of blurry. I turned the flash off because the flash is extremely bright.. and I didn't want to be drawing attention to myself in the middle of the song!

 (Again, I don't know why the camera/picture did that!)

Cody plays the banjo and Dobro.  Jessie plays the mandolin and guitar.  Both of them are state champions (maybe world.. can't remember) for picking.  They can pick those instruments faster 'n anyone I've ever seen! It's really neat, especially since they're only 19 and 17.
The Surprise visit!!!  Oh this was neat.  We are getting ready for church one morning (it was at our house) when my brother calls down the hall that one of the families was here.  We were still getting dressed and, obviously, freaked out.  Turns out he was just kidding.  Well, ten minutes later, he says, "Oh. Someone is here..." Becs and I were in the bedroom finishing up. I told her that they were kidding.  My mom kind of shrieked or something, so I thought they were just being super dramatic trying to tease us.. and then I heard another woman's voice.  I stepped out into the hallway and there were some very dear friends of ours!  They had moved to Alaska and we hadn't seen them in 2 years from the last time they visited.  This was a SUPER huge surprise!!  We were so excited. Their daughters are off at college, so Becs and I weren't able to see them. But, Mr. and Mrs. V were here and their son as well. It was just so nice to see them again! We were totally surprised. :-)  We'll get to see them again this coming Sunday as they plan on joining us for church again.

My random part of the post is boring. I haven't been doing a whole lot.  Some school, but mostly been lazy as I've had this lingering cough from my strep that just. Won't. Go. Away.  Extremely frustrating because I don't sleep well, which means I'm tired throughout the day. That's pretty much why I haven't been accomplishing a whole lot.
 Josh and I are going to be entering our home school convention Showcase with a comedy skit from the Smothers Brothers. Our Home school convention has one night where you can bring the whole family for free. We do the showcase (home school students can play instruments, sing, etc. They just enter and wait to find out if they got picked or not), this year a choir will be coming and singing several songs, and then we have a speaker who gives a talk.  It's a very fun night and interesting as well.  Last year our speaker was a gentleman by the name of Emir Caner. Some of you may have heard of him, or may have had the enjoyment of hearing him speak.  For those of you who don't know, Mr. Caner was a Muslim who turned to Christianity.  His talks are really neat to hear and I really enjoy listening to them.

Any how, I suppose that's about all. I could get to rambling some more, but I'm sure you really don't want to hear that. ;-)

How is everyone else doing?  Anything exciting (or boring) going on?

In Christ's Service,
Sarah

Keeping it Classy, Modest fashion show- Day 3

Today is Tuesday.  Tuesday means that it is the day for Drama.. Not literal drama, but drama club.  So, I wore something a little more relaxed today.  :-)


What I wore:

~Pink 'layered look' shirt- Christmas Gift

Taking pics by the woodstack was fun! Kind of gives it some country charm

~Denim skirt- thrift store (let me tell you, I absolutely LOVE this skirt!!)

~Sweater- hand-me-down.. I think it was my Bampas before he passed away...

I like how Caleb tilted the camera.. kind of looks cool, don't ya think?



~Hat- Handmade by me... I am thinking of selling them in my shop, what do you think?

~Tennis shoes (told I was going comfy)

Sorry for my dorky look....

~Earrings-  Also a Christmas gift

~Hair- done in a french braid 'roll' (I just flip the braid back onto my head and clip it up there)



Drama went really well today.  It is always fun. :-)  Mom alerted us that we had to have our lines memorized in four weeks!! YIPES!  I can do it, I can do it, I can do it!!!! Well, maybe not, but I will certainly try!! :-)  The actual play is nine weeks away, but we have to have stuff memorized before then so we can really work on how to deliver lines and whatnot without focusing on reading them. (if that makes any sense...)

Before Drama, we had fiddle lessons.  I am teaching fiddle to the lovely Goff ladies.  They are my first, and only, 3 students. :-)  They are the best students I have! lol!  Actually, they are extremely fun to work with.  I think we have way too much fun during lessons.. lol!  Any way, I thought I would share a few pictures my brother snapped during lessons today.. unfortunately he only got me with one of the girls...

Pointing out some things in the music

Giving her the 'look' because she won't listen.. just kidding!! I don't know where that look came from.  I would NEVER glare at my students!! lol!



I hope you all are having a lovely week so far!!

In Christ's Service,

Sarah

Reel Quick...

No, I did not spell "real" wrong.  "Reel Quick" is actually my friend's movie review blog.  Whenever he watches a movie, he will do a basic review on it.  I find this extremely helpful, especially on older movies that other movie reviewers won't list.  He doesn't get too detailed on things, but also isn't vague.  Well, what I am rambling about? Go on over and check it out yourself!  Just click HERE!

Also, on a side note, I put up a music player. However, I set it so that it wouldn't do auto play (for those who don't like music play lists).  You just have to click on the play button and listen, if you choose.  Some of the songs I found are actually done in the Home school choir I joined up with this semester- Huron Carol (ours has a neat drum), Hush my Babe, Do you hear what I hear, Oh Come all Ye Faithful, and a few others.  There is one that I found extremely hilarious.. It is the "What Child is This?" by Jingle Cats.  I couldn't keep from laughing, However, I really do like the song (in it's original form) so I also included another version sung by a choir.  I don't know who did the cat version, but they certainly had a lot of time on their hands, and a really cool editing system.... Wonder how long it took them to record all those cat meows? Any way, pretty cute.