Sunday, October 23, 2011

Romance movies: Are they bad? How do they affect us?

As my sister, Mom, and I were watching a cute romance comedy, I began 'swooning' over the main actor. If it could be called swooning.. Perhaps that is a rather strong word. Still, I sat there wishing I could find a guy like that.  Cute, romantic, selfless, gentlemanly, a Manly man, etc.  Am I the only girl that has done this? I don't think so.  In fact, I know so.

I'll tell you why....

My friends and I were visiting one day and started talking about movies we had seen.  I mentioned a certain movie, and off we went, admiring the wonderful hero of the tale.  How wonderful he was, etc, etc.

Alright, now that you don't think I'm crazy, I'll continue with my story.....

As I sat there watching, getting that warm feeling, and feeling 'gushy', it suddenly hit me.  Was I wrong in feeling that way?  I mean, here I was pining over this guy (who really doesn't exist.. he's just a character on the screen, and the actor who played him-well, you can throw him out the door...).  Wasn't that the same as giving my heart away to a real guy I actually knew?  I pondered over this for a while and came up with this thought.

Romance movies, while they are fun and sentimental, can be harmful to young ladies.  Your typical hero in a movie (or even a book!) is pretty perfect, isn't he?  He has all the wonderful characteristics. Everything you'd want in a guy.  He's handsome, tall, masculine, gentle, honorable, strong, protective, a wonderful leader, treats his love like a lady, etc.  You get the picture.  So, is it bad to want a guy like that?  Absolutely not! However, we have to be careful to make sure we aren't giving our hearts away to a character (I know it sounds odd, but I do believe it is possible.) 

We women want a guy like that.  Does he exist? Absolutely! But, he won't fit that picture perfectly. Do we flatter ourselves by thinking that WE fit the perfect lady criteria?  Who ever God has in mind for you will be the perfect one.  He will be your 'knight in shining armor'.

So, ladies, how do we keep our hearts pure when we are constantly surrounded by dating, boyfriend/girlfriend pressure, romance movies, etc?  Well, here are a few things that I have found to be helpful.

1. If you are praying daily that Jesus will help to keep your heart pure, then I promise He will help!

2. Have a good relationship with your Father in Heaven.  If you are on a one-on-one relationship with the Lord, then your heart is going to be completely His.  Once you have given Him your heart (and we aren't talking about when you invite Jesus to come into your heart) to hold until it is ready to be given to your husband, it will help a lot.  You just have to remember to not take it back from Him when you want to!

3. One thing to try, when you feel like taking your heart back, is to just stop, drop, and pray!  If you find yourself feeling attracted to a guy (let's face it, it's gonna happen!), just start praying that God will continue holding your heart, and He will help you keep it safe and pure.

Those are just a few tips from things I have learned throughout my years of struggling with this.

And here's another bit.  I have found that I tend to yearn to my guy most when my relationship with my Dad isn't in it's best shape.  Relationships do have to be tended to 24/7.  Its not like you become friends and voila! You're done.  Nope, gotta work on them constantly.  So, sometimes my relationship with my Dad is in tip top shape.  Other times it is lacking.  So, when my relationship isn't really great with my dad (this typically happens when I haven't had a good talk with him in a long time), I tend to start wanting a guy's friendship more and more. 

One of the many reasons we have Dads is to supply our girl hearts with guy love.  Our Dad's give us that 'Daddy love' and our hearts are satisfied.  Once we get older, we want more and more of it.  Our Dad's fill us up again.  So, we get our 'Man love' from our Dad's and then, once we are married, we get it from our husbands.  Got created us to yearn for that kind of love. But He also gave us something to give that to us until our husbands come along. Dads! :-)

So, are romance movies bad?  I don't think so.... just as long as we are focusing on not giving our hearts away to a character and reserving it for our Husbands instead.

Stay tuned for part 2!

In Christ's Service,

P.S. if you have something to add to this post, please share it in a comment! I'd love to hear your thoughts!


Carrie said...

Thank you for that, Sarah. I've never thought of it like that, but I think you're right...and I needed this.

Prairie Momma said...

I think this is a great reminder to ALL women, regardless of age or marital status. Those men on the screen (and in books, I might add) never let us see their ugly side. They are always so picture perfect, and I have yet to meet the picture perfect man in the real world. Thank you for reminding us to be careful as we guard our hearts, but I also want to add that we need to be careful not to let these "fake men" create expectations for the men in our lives (fathers, husbands, brothers, sons, friends) that are just too difficult to meet.

I love your heart, and thank you for being willing to open our eyes to this!!

Lilac Bud Gal said...

You're welcome! I love it when people tell me that. Sometimes I feel like I should really post about something and I ask God, "What? Why?" But He uses it! :) Thanks for the comment!

Thank you! Ah yes, books too! I know I do that more often than movies.. especially when I am creating a character. ;) I love you!!

Marissa said...

Great post Sarah. I agree, we certainly have to be on our guard when we watch movies. I've thought about this a lot and I've talked about it a lot with friends and family. It so easy to imagine a fairy tale prince and picture perfect scenarios when in reality, it doesn't really work like that. Good reminder. =) Thanks for posting this.