Thursday, July 3, 2014

In Which I Give Fair Warning

Hello friends!

I haven't posted here in a while because, quite frankly, I wasn't sure what I would post about. Life has been normal, and more than likely quite boring for all of you to read about. So, I didn't have much of anything else to say. Rambling, though fun, can be a bit boring, too, I realize. So, I've decided to make a slight change to this blog.

Don't worry. It isn't *too* big, but big enough. See, I've begun to suffer from something lately.. it's called 'fear'. I'm afraid to post certain things because I don't know what others will think of me. I don't want to post anything controversial, because I don't want people to get into a huge blog debate and use my posts to knock one another down. So, instead, I've just sat quietly, only posting things which were 'good' or 'biblically based'. Now, don't get me wrong. Those are very good, I know. And when the Lord is teaching me something, I like to share, so I'll continue to do so. But, I'd also like to use this as more of an online journal, so to speak. To post questions I have about varying things in life, to ponder over different things that have been going on. To use this blog as more than just a hobby writing place, but as a place I can share my thoughts and views and not worry so much about what others will think.

I suppose all bloggers have to face the 'big question' at some point. That question being: Why do I blog? So that is my answer. I want to blog because I want to share my thoughts on ALL of life, not just a little scope of it now and then.

With that being said, I've been pondering over a rather funny question lately. I hope that I don't sound too weird or pushy or something for saying it, but it is something that has been foremost on my mind lately.

How much do you think a young man needs to have before he marries? In terms of money, house, job, etc? Just as a general question. Where do you base your opinion (biblical or just personal preference)? I'm just curious to know your thoughts on this. =) Also, what about the young women? What do they need to have/be in order to get married and why?

I would love to hear your thoughts on this. Discussions are more than welcome here.


Lydia Willis said...

Ok, you said to leave a comment. Here ya go!!! :)
I think a young man should be able to spiritually and financially support his wife before marriage. Emotional support from the man is a must too, I think. This doesn't mean he has to have 3 cars, tons of $$$ or a ten story mansion. Just be able to provide.
As for the girl, I think she should know how to run a household, and be able to spiritually uphold, and understand the importance of being his help-meet.
Both should be mature enough to make their own decisions.
And who's gonna be perfect on all this? No one. But gotta at least aim for the best! :)I think people expect too much sometimes from a young man/woman. We have to be careful to realize that a young couple will NEVER be completely ready for marriage - marriage is something that takes time, and if you wait 'til everything perfect...well, it just might not happen.
There - I rarely post on blogs, but you wanted discussion, so there ya go! Love you! <3

Frannie said...


*I do exist!* So sorry to have been absent from your corner of the blogging world!!

I love that you are braving your fears and courageously stepping out of your comfort zone. The blogging word is much better for it--please, keep it up! :-)

And as for this fun question of yours ... I used to have a firm answer ... until I got married and now see the world from a different pair of glasses. Of course, my ideals will probably change when a young man comes knocking on our door asking for our daughter. ;-)

I think that it honestly depends on each person and their maturity/character. A young man may be the poor, inventor type or a steady, dependable work-at-the-same-nonadvancing-place-forever type but if they have hearts for God, are good, and mature then I would say he is a worthwhile pursuit. There are many young men who have fat pocket books but lack the character and maturity to raise a family. I think couples who know they want to be married, are willing to sacrifice and live within an income, and are united in their goals are wonderful and shouldn't be held back by a sum or money or a set of skills.

Hehehe ... you asked ... I delivered!

Blessings to you!

Sir Joshua David said...

Hello Sarah!

It think this is a great question! I've been thinking on this subject a lot lately and just happened to stumble on this post (through a mutual friend's google+) and thought I'd share from a guys point of view. :)

First I don't think there is a cookie cutter answer for this question regarding the gentleman (or even the lady). I believe it is essential that a guy has a stable job before the couple gets married (all though there can even be exceptions in this regard especially when it comes men in the ministry). I've pondered whether the guy should have a house already or not and have decided it's not a must but a plus (I personally think that picking a house or apartment together is a very good thing).

As for the lady's part, I think she should be spiritual mature (as should the guy) and able to take care of a home and children(and in my opinion the guy should too). The most important thing though in a Christian young lady is that she has a passion and personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

Both people must be willing to follow wherever God takes them in this journey called life and be willing to learn and submit to each other.

I totally agree with the comments above in saying that nobody will ever be fully prepared for marriage and if a person waits for the perfect time for marriage that it will probably never happen.

Anyways that's a few of my thoughts on the subject. One last thing is I think often this subject is over thought with too many stipulations placed on when the right time is for marriage(especially in the homeschool community, and this is coming from a homeschool background myself)just let God be the match maker and He'll work everything out with the time tables. :)

Anonymous said...

When a man and women get married the most important things are love, respect and communication. You can get married when the man has money, a car, a house, and no bills and then fall on hard times and if you don't have love and respect for each other there can be a lot of blame games going on.
You can probably talk to anyone and find out that everyone goes through money issues at one time or another. It might be when your starting out, it could be down the road aways, or it could be from the beginning to the end. Having God as the focus and center of your relationship will get you through those tough times.
Remember the young man that came to Jesus and said that he had kept all of the commandments since his youth? Well, Jesus then told him to sell all that he had and give it to the poor. I would think that God is less worried about the condition of our bank account going into marriage and more concerned about the condition of our hearts.
From someone who has been married for 23 years and had our share of financial ups and downs I can say that now looking back I wouldn't trade them because they brought us closer together. That being said, I'm sure there will be more to go through and I need to remember that Jesus pilots our ship and he will bring us through.
So, in or poor when a man marries probably doesn't matter a whole lot but love and respect are huge assets to have.

Lilac Bud Gal said...

Wow!! Thanks everyone for the great comments!! I've really enjoyed reading every ones thoughts on this. =)

@Lydia: Hehe, thanks for commenting! =D I'm honored. ;) I agree. I think it really just depends on each situation, and, like you said, no one is ever ready. That's how God grows us even more! =D

@Frannie: Thank you for stopping by!! =D Thanks for your thoughts! I really appreciated hearing them from you especially, having just gotten married and gone through that whole process! =D And it is true. So much of it has to do with character!

@Sir Joshua: Thank you for commenting! It was great hearing thoughts from a guys perspective. I think you're right. Each situation is unique. God is ultimately in control on how it all works out. But at the same time, the opinions of the people getting involved will definitely shape how the relationship goes. Not that that is bad. But it is true. This one is probably one of the most thought out questions (especially in the Homeschool Christian community!) It probably shouldn't be, though. Thanks again for commenting!

@djmam: Thanks for sharing your thoughts! It was great hearing some experienced wisdom on the discussion. I think you really hit the nail on the head, too, about their needing to be respect, love, communication, and (I might add) determination to make it work. If you're only willing to let it work out so long as things are 'going well', then when you inevitably come up against tough situations, you won't make it through unless both of you are determined to make it work. =)

Thanks again, everyone! =) If any new comers want to join in, feel free!