When Did This "Only One" Idea Come About?

Hey all! It's been a while since I've been over here... I do apologize for that. Life has been pretty hectic and busy around here. I shall hopefully get a post about what's been going on, however, today I'd like to share something that has been on my heart for a while now.

For some reason, I've kind of grown up with this idea that there is only "one man" out there for me. I'm not really sure where this idea got planted, because I honestly don't remember mom and dad telling me this. Perhaps I assumed it was so simply based on what I heard others saying. In any case, I have to shake my head at that belief now.

I don't really know where the idea got started that there is only "one man" out there for you. Your Prince Charming, your knight in shining armor. So how in the world did it get started? If anyone has a history behind this, please share. It is most certainly a big topic, especially among Christians (and primarily among Christian Homeschoolers, it seems).



I have to admit that it is an extremely comforting thought, that there is only one man. That means you can't 'make a mistake' in your choice of life partner, right? I'm not really sure I can agree with that. There are lots of questions that come to mind when I think about this one man idea. If the guy dies before meeting you, does that mean that you are destined to live your life as an unmarried woman? Or does another 'one man' suddenly pop up for you? Or perhaps all those who have never been married aren't married because of that. I don't know.

However, as I read the Bible, I honestly can't say that I've ever fond anything that gives me the impression that there is just 'one man' out there for me. I honestly don't. One thing I have observed, though, is non-marital relationships. This includes family and friends. Do you automatically love your siblings and parents just because you are placed in that family, or do you make the choice to love them? Do you work hard on your friendships with your friends just because you 'happened to meet', or is it because you make the choice to love them, even if they hurt you, ignore you, or maybe don't even love back? To me, all relationships are there because of the choice to make them so. I make the choice to forgive my sister rather than be mad at her. I make the choice to listen and respect my parents.



If these relationships are based on choosing to love one another (which is something God commands us to do... and if He had to command us to do it, that means that we naturally have to work at it, not just 'suddenly' love one another.) why is a marital relationship any different? See, when we believe that there is just 'one girl or guy' out there for us, we give ourselves an idea that we will automatically love that person, no matter what, because, duh, we were meant for each other. So what happens when you disagree about something, or perhaps you're tired from staying up with sick children all night and angry words fly from your mouth before you're able to stop them? Or what about when times get tough and romance seems to have suddenly left you behind? Do you feel like you've stopped loving them? But how can this be if you were meant for each other? How do people have affairs if they only fall in love, and, because they were 'meant for each other', stay in love with each other? Because they choose to NOT love the other. They choose to let selfish feelings and hurt fill their heart instead of a true, holy love for their life partner.

I read an article (which I, unfortunately lost the link for!) a while back written by a young woman who had recently been married. She had grown up her entire life believing that there was just one man for her and she simply needed to find him. When her dad, the preacher of their church, realized she had these ideas, he questioned her on them. She gave him the typical response of 'here is what I've heard, so I'm going to tell it back to you'. He listened, and then gently pointed out to her that no where in Scriptures does it say that there is only one man for her. However, the bible is full of instructions on how a man should treat and love his wife and vice-versa. The young lady realized that her marriage was a choice. Every day she had to choose whether or not she was going to love the man beside her, whether she was going to strive to be a Godly wife to him, and whether she was going to work her hardest on being the help-meet he needed. It was a choice to love him or not.

When I read the article, it really made sense to me. If you think about it, people get married to certain people because they are compatible. Their personalities match up really well. They balance each other out. But guess what? Personality and compatibility could have been matched up with probably 6 or more other people in the world. I have several girl friends, and guy friends, who I get along with really well. I also have some acquaintances who I've had a harder time getting along with. It doesn't mean that I haven't tried or they haven't tried, but more that our personalities just didn't suit that well. Now, does that mean that whenever I'm around them I'm miserable? No. It just means that more than likely I won't have that 'life-time, my kids will call you auntie' sort of a relationship. Think of Paul and Barnabas. They had to part ways because they simply didn't get along too well. It was just a personality thing.


So in a world filled with people who range from about 6-7 different personality types, that really means that there are quite a bit of 'matches' out there for you. Now, don't freak out. I did when I first thought about that. It is scary to think that, with that many options, you could be making the wrong choice. But hold on a moment. You can't, technically, make the wrong choice-unless you marry a non-Christian and are yoking yourself unequally. However, you can make the wrong choice to not love the person you are married with. You can make the wrong choice of holding to angry feelings and destroying the relationship.

If marriage was 'that one person', why is it the biggest decision in our lives? Because we know, deep down, that we will forever be working at that relationship to keep it top-notch. If we only had one person destined for us, it wouldn't be that big of a decision, would it?

My mom had the same idea that there was just one man for her. She married dad, and everything was great... until they had their first argument, or he didn't seem to appreciate the meal that she cooked. She began to think that she had married the 'wrong' person because she no longer felt like the love was there. There wasn't much romance any more... but that couldn't be right. Since they were 'meant for each other', should he always be romancing her? Shouldn't she always be starry eyed at the sight of him?

I think that our world has adapted this idea because it is so easy. It is so easy to say that there is only one out there because when the relationship fails, it is that much easier to get out of by simply saying, "This must not be right. There must be someone else.". We get these wrong ideas in our heads about love and relationships and then throw them away instead of working at them.

I have a cousin who had an inside plant. It had sort of died, and basically looked like a stick in dirt. My dad liked to tease her about it and asked why she still had it. She told him, quite matter-of-factly, that she wasn't going to give up on it. She watered it, checked on it, fed it, etc. I think about a year later, it began to grow again and show signs of life. We still chuckle over it whenever we see the little thing, but quite honestly, I admired that persistence in her. I think she'll be pretty good about not giving up in tough situations. :-)

If only every couple was as persistent as my cousin with that plant! To constantly give one another tender care and nourishment, to encourage one another not tear the other person down. We need to make the choice to do that. To choose Christ-like love in all relationships and not let them die or fade away.

Now I don't mean to discourage anyone or scare anyone with these ideas. It has just been something I've thought about a lot recently and thought I would share. I'd love to hear y'alls thoughts on it. :-)

Finding Out My Calling in Life

Yesterday afternoon we were at a birthday party for a friend. We played volleyball in the rain, chatted, had cake and ice cream, etc, etc. The normal birthday party setting. I didn't think it would be the time or place for me to find out my calling in life, though. That sort of thing seems more appropriate in a garden setting, or early morning sunrise, or up in the mountains looking down upon creation. However, I've learned in the past that my "romantic" notions are usually chilled in the refrigerator of reality. ;-)
    So, my 'inspirational moment' happened whilst I was washing my hands in the bathroom after playing some muddy volleyball. I happened to look up in the mirror and saw a reflection of a girl with a few dots of mud on her face, hair wet from the rain, and an otherwise normal appearance on her face. There was only one thing that wasn't so normal in that reflection. When I saw this, I knew what I was meant to be. I knew that I had the potential for a particular job that so many also enjoy. The type of calling that requires diligence, patience, loving kindness, and patience (yes, I mention that twice on purpose). What is this wonderful, glorious job, you ask? What was it that inspired me to realize that this was my calling? Well, the job is called Motherhood. More particularly, mother of more than 2 children. How did I figure this out? Well, in the flurry of getting out the door on time, I quickly grabbed up a pair of earrings and put them in as I ran out the door. It wasn't until I was washing my hands in that inspiring bathroom that I realized I had put in two different earrings. One was a pink flower, the other a red and black.......... *pause for laughter*

I believe it will be mostly mothers who can laugh and understand exactly what this is like. I almost died laughing when I saw that reflection. In any case, I now know that I am quite prepared for that side of motherhood. ;-)  White hairs, forgetful memory, and unmatched articles of clothing (yes, all of those apply to me).

On other newsworthy notes, I am happy to say that costumes are coming along and I am hoping to share some pictures in the near future. Drama is also going well. We are into our 4th week this Wednesday. We've begun memorizing lines and are doing rigorous practices each week. The director and assitant director have done a wonderful job of splitting up scenes so that only a few thespians need to be present at practices each week. This means that we go over 3-4 scenes several times and really work on them, as opposed to just going over as many scenes as we can during practice. It also helps with distraction because since not everyone is there, only those who need to be up on 'stage' are there to work (so no worries about whispered conversations on the side getting a little too loud.. ;-) ) It works quite well and means that everyone has more time to focus and really work on their parts. That probably made no sense, but oh well. I did a get a few pictures of two practices ago, and I hope to get more a little later, then share them on the ABC Drama Blog.

Otherwise, life has been the normal, hectic, crazy life that we live. ;-) How have y'all been? Anything new and exciting going on? I'd love to hear about! So, drop a comment! =D

Not the Best Birthday in the World, but Still a Birthday...

Today (the 10th) was my Dad's birthday. Most birthdays begin by the birthday person getting breakfast in bed, gifts from the family, and an overall abundance of pampering (if possible).

Dad's birthday had to start a little differently this year. We were up at 4:30 a.m. to get out the door for the first day of selling corn at a farmer's market in ABQ. Y'all might remember me mentioning something about this market from last year. This is our second year of doing it. It is lots of work, but enjoyable- and that is probably because we all get to be together. :-)

Anyway, Dad's birthday started with an early wake up call. We quickly got dressed, rushed out the door, picked up our trailer full of corn and headed to town. His 'breakfast in bed' was an egg burrito hurriedly eaten while standing (customers are lining up, you tend to just get the food down as quickly as possible).

At about 10:30, Mom and Dad left the market to head home and clean up. Dad had to go to a couple of county fair auctions for his work. So, add 'work' to the list of birthday hoo-rah's. :-)

However, even with the 'unusual' birthday day, and maybe not so pleasant early morning, my dad stayed true to his ornery self. It was a wonderful lesson to me that even when life doesn't go the way we expect it to or want it to, life keeps going and you have two choices. You can either let it hit you in the face, or you can hold you head high and keep on going with a good attitude. :-) Even though my dad isn't huge on tradition, it is still fun to have your birthday set aside as a special day.

Happy birthday to the most wonderful man in my life right now! You are an amazing example to me daily. I see you carrying the cross on your narrow road, and I see you doing it with a joyful and happy spirit. Thank you for being such a provider for our family, for being a loving father to me, and a protector.

I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!! =D

Excitement is Mounting!

"It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a large fortune must be in want of a wife....."

*************

I decided I'd pop over and talk a bit o' Drama. Y'all know I can go on and on about this subject. I'll limit myself, though, and just show a few pictures and talk just a wee little bit. ;-) Ok, I lie. =D

So, as most of you know, our ABC drama group will be performing Pride and Prejudice this fall. I'm really looking forward to this performance! It will definitely stretch the actors in many ways, but it will also be a neat experience to pull off.

This year we actually had true auditions. The director and assistant director (as well as the panel of judges) had to pick who would be in and who could best play each part. It was an extremely difficult bunch of decisions. One that went with much prayer and thought.

The cast has now been picked, the script is almost ready... yes, almost ready. The director couldn't find one that she liked, so she just decided to write it herself. Needless to say, it has given her a deep respect for stage writers! It has been quite the undertaking.

We have our first practice tomorrow. This is one of my favorite days of the practices. It's fun to get settled in, so who all is in the play, and catch up with everyone after the long break in-between semesters. :-) (and yes, we have to do it the first week because otherwise we don't get to later... we have work to do!) ;-)

So, I'm going to post a few pictures of the 1995 version of Pride and Prejudice (my personal favorite!!!) starring Colin Firth and Jennifer Ehle. They did a stupendous job in this movie, and I love being able to watch their acting skills.

Before pics, I guess I'll share a bit of a back story. Ever since I have seen this movie (which was when I was about 10-11) I have ALWAYS wanted to be Elizabeth Bennet. I was determined that I would go to Hollywood, waltz right in, and get to play that star role in the newest edition of the story. Well, the Lord hasn't exactly called me to be a Hollywood actor... probably better that way. I'm afraid I wouldn't fit in. =D However, He did bless me greatly this year, by allowing me to get the part of Elizabeth Bennet in this production. I'm very excited, yet also getting a little nervous as I realize the big responsibility and task I have before me. However, I also know that so long as I do everything to glorify Him, the Lord, then I cannot fail. (but it's still a little scary to think about!).




Anyway, on with the pictures and introductions. So pull up a chair, grab a cup of tea, and settle in.... :-)

 Mr. and Mrs. Bennet... (the two actors that got these parts are going to be hilarious!!!)

 The Bennet Girls. (I get some pretty neat sisters!)

 The Bingley's

Mr. Darcy

Introductions made, I shall now fill you in on the rest of my acquaintances... 

Charlotte Lucas- my best friend who I can have any conversation with.

Lady Catherine de Burgh- the rather overbearing woman who will one day be my aunt! 

Wickam- the man who willfully, charmingly, and wittingly deceived us.

My Uncle and Aunt Gardiner. They are favorites of the family and on my mother's side of relations.

Mr. Collins- He is our cousin who will inherit the house when Papa is dead. He is also under the patronage of Lady Catherine.

Col. Fitzwilliam- The kind-hearted, lively gentleman who's wonderful conversation I enjoyed very much. (he is actually one of my favorite characters).

My dear sister Jane... I can share everything with her. She is so sweet and never things ill of anyone, much to my chagrin at times! However, our respect and love for one other never changes and we share in each other's sorrows and joys.  

 Bingley and Darcy are very good friends. Bingley respects his friends opinion and is often swayed by it.

 Sweet Georgiana Darcy. She will be my future sister- of which we are both very glad!

Need I say more? ;-) 

"My nerves!" Poor mama. Always ready to be attacked with a nervous fit. 

Father keeps to his library and tries to ignore most of the goings on in the household.

I really didn't like him at that moment. 

Balls and Assemblies are such wonderful entertainments! Though, I was rather upset that I had to dance with the proud Mr. Darcy in this one. 

Sweet Jane and her lovable Bingley. They love each other so much, you can't help but smile when you see them together. My father thinks they are so benevolent that their servants will cheat them- but my mother was quick to remind him that they had such sufficient funds that they would never run out. 

And so, you have had a quick introduction and peek into my family. I hope to share some 'real' pictures of the cast and practices as we get closer to performances! :-) For now, farewell!

The Sneakiest of Sneak Peaks

If that title didn't grab your attention... well, then I pretty much stink at titles- which we all know I do anyway. =D

So, I couldn't decide if I should call this a 'sneak peak' or not... it isn't really, but sort of is.... confusing, yes??

Well, I'm going to give a very brief 'sneak peak' into something I've been working on. I don't have a video or pictures to upload- yet. So, I'll just grab some of my inspiration photos off of Pinterest (Yes, I went and got an account... shame on me). ;-)

 

*None of these are my own photos. All taken off of Pinterest*

I'm hoping to get some actual photos of our projects up later on but we'll see how that goes (as we all know I'm awful about putting up photos... ). ;-)

Country Girl Through and Through...

I'm the kind of girl who likes to walk in the mud without shoes. 

I'm the kind of girl who really prefers the country scenery to a movie anytime. 

I'm the kind of girl who thinks that a little dirt won't hurt. 

I'm the kind of girl who thinks that simpler is better. 

I'm the kind of girl who prefers worshipping the Lord out in His own creation instead of some fancy, fitted up cathedral. 

I like my tea sweet, my boots worn, my old trucks,

 and my britches stained. 

I like my horse rides, my country views, and my starry nights. 

*************

It may sound terribly romantic, but all of the above is true. I was chuckling to myself as I was checking out a few things on Pinterest. People seem to have this view that being 'country' makes you cuter, better, or something. I only wish I could show them what I look like after a long day of working cows or building fence... dirt and sweat don't mix to make something pretty. Just sayin'.
   They also seem to have an idea that country basically means you go around in a fresh, white dress, cowgirl boots, picking flowers and putting them in the basket that's swingin' from your arms... oh, and that you pose for photos so everyone else can get a glimpse of this perfect country life.

Well, I'm here to put all those ideas to rest. Pretty much none of them are true. That's the sort of romantic country that people experience for a day or two on vacation. It isn't the real thing, though. Don't get me wrong, we do have our fun, but there's usually more work than fun.  We still clean house just like everyone else, we still have meals that pretty much look like everyone else's, and we don't have that romantic porch with the wooden swing at the end (not that some country folks do).

In short, it really isn't all it's cracked up to be... and yet it is. There is something about living out in the open spaces, ridin' horses, checking fence, and driving the old feed truck. Yeah, I guess it is pretty 'romantic', in it's own way. Country living isn't fun and games, and it certainly isn't photo worthy in 9 out of 10 cases. When you're covered in cow, um, patties, wipin' sweat from your face, and wishing the wind would stop blowing dirt in your eyes, it most certainly doesn't feel "romantically country"; and it most certainly doesn't feel 'romantic' when you watch a newborn calf die after you've spent the night trying to nurse it.

So where in the world did we get this idea that country living was so great and romantic? Discontentment, perhaps? All the folks that I see pinning 'romantic country' photos tend to be city, or slightly outside the city, folks. Not that it's wrong to pin cute photos and whatnot, but I think it's wrong to give ourselves this picture in our mind of something that doesn't exactly exist. Sure there are places that have picturesque scenery, and cute farm animals, but that doesn't mean that they exist for real everywhere.

I don't want to accuse people of being discontent. I'm not the judge of a person's heart. However, it has been a good lesson to me on many subjects. I should be content with what I have and not scheme up this idea of what it should or will be like. I could pretty much apply that to everything in my life right now...
Relationships, marriage, homeschooling, being a mom, book publishing, etc, etc. Just about anything. It's easy for us to get caught up in this romantic idea of how any of those things should look.  I tend to think that relationships will be like those in the Jane Austen movies. Friends can tell each other anything, sisters have the closest relationships.... but who am I kidding? It isn't perfect, and it never will be.

What about marriage? I sometimes catch myself thinking about the wonderful things that come with marriage (taking care of your own home, romantic 'dinner for two', moonlight walks, fresh flowers from your husband, etc). However, it will more than likely hurt me if I ever get married and have these views stuck in my head. I know that marriage can have those wonderful aspects, but I can't expect it to be like that all the time either. There will be the hard days of feeling utterly exhausted after you've been up with the baby all night. Days of washing dirty laundry all afternoon only to find another basket that was hiding away in the closet. The day when you realize that there is something your spouse does that really annoys you (and vice versa for your husband!).  If I only think that it will be romantic and flowers and loving words, then I'm likely to hit a very hard wall  later in my marriage when the 'honeymoon is over'. (Don't get me wrong, there could be those things, but I can't expect them 24/7).

I used to have this notion that I would be a famous author, be on Oprah, go on the Morning Show, and hit New York's Top Selling Book of all time. But, those expectations are dangerous. Dangerous because it caused me to be discontent with anything else. Very discontent. So much so that I pretty much went against what God wanted me to do.

The other day when I was taking a walk and having a 'talk' with God, I was praying for some certain things in my life. Things that I really wanted to have happen. I felt like He gave me a very clear answer. Until I was content with my life and HIS plans, my plans would never match up to His and we would constantly be wrestling over the issue. My heart has many desires, but that doesn't mean all of them will come true. Instead of pining away for things that I wish would happen, I should keep my focus on God's will for my life and what I can do to bless or help others. As soon as we get these selfish ideas and wishes into our heads and begin to listen to them instead of God, we are headed down a very dangerous path.

Discontentment is a worm that can eat at anyone about anything. I certainly don't want it to get a hold of me!!

So, for all those folks who think country living is romantic, well... I'd say to just look around you and find the 'romantic' things that are in your life right now. Because I could list off a whole bunch of things that aren't romantic about the country! :-) Every life can be good if you choose to make it so, or it can be drab 'compared to' other places. Your choice.

Happy Birthday, Caleb!!

13 years ago today, a miracle happened. The miracle of my baby brother being born. Most of you don't know his story, so I figured that it would be fitting to share it on his birthday.

(Celebrating his 6th birthday- I think- at the CO zoo)

Mom and Dad first found out about what a difficult pregnancy it was going to be with Caleb when they went in to check up. The baby had O positive blood and Mom had A negative... not a good combination. In fact, such a bad one that Mom's body viewed Caleb as a threat and was doing everything possible to get rid of him. His is a rare case, too. So rare, in fact, that everyone knew about it and if they ever saw mom they knew exactly who she was. I believe the statistics for something like this is 1 out of 10. (don't quote me on that, though.)

11 weeks before Caleb's due date, mom went in for another check up. These were frequent as they needed to give blood to Caleb often. My "Aunt" Marie was the one who donated blood for Caleb (thus why we call her 'Aunt'). :-) She was so sweet to everyone involved in this ordeal and didn't mind donating one bit.

I should explain how Caleb received blood infusions, for those that don't know. The doctor has to take an extremely long needle and try to hit the vein in the umbilical cord. There is also an artery (possibly more than one, but I don't know those details) on the cord, but you have to avoid hitting that. Dad said the procedure looked like he was trying to stab a spaghetti noodle in a bowl full of water with a tiny needle (I tried that once... trust me, it's hard!).

Well, on this particular check up/blood infusion, the Dr., ended up hitting the artery and not the vein on the umbilical cord. Mom and Dad watched as his heart beat sped up suddenly, then just stopped. Having had 3 other children who were emergency C-Sections, Dad knew he needed to get out of the way. He kissed mom on the forehead, told her he loved her, and ran out the door. Praying for the safety of his wife and child were next on his list.

(Manning the gate while working cows)

Mom didn't know what was going on. The nurses seemed to suddenly jump into action as they prepared to get the baby out. A call went through the hospital to get certain nurses into the operating room. They gave mom the 'knock out medicine' and began preparing for yet another emergency C-Section.

Here's where we get to see God's amazing hand in all of this (of course, we know He was protecting Caleb the entire time he was in the womb, but here is where His hand was most visible). There had to be two of these particular surgeons present at the operation for these rare pregnancies/babies like Caleb. Well, it just 'so happened' that the first one (which was the one that mom and dad had most contact with) was already there, of course, but the second, who usually resided in another state, also 'happened' to be there at the hospital. So they were able to do surgery on Mom right away without waiting. It also just so "happened" that one nurse was walking down the hall on her way to help out when another nurse came up and asked, "Hey, where are you headed?" The first nurse explained that she was on her way to the "RH" baby (as he was known in the hospital). The second nurse decided she'd join her friend and they headed up to the operating room.

The surgeons had Caleb out in 8 minutes. The two nurses who came in did CPR on him (one holding him, the other doing the CPR) as they ran him down to the NICU. If they had gotten Caleb out in 10 minutes, he would have had severe brain damage. If it has been 12, Caleb would have died.

Caleb was in the hospital for 56 days on oxygen tubes, feeding tubes, and everything else imaginable. We weren't allowed to hold him until after he came home. I remember the first time I even got to see him (which was several days after they got him out). I was so excited, and nervous. Would I like him? What would he look like? Was he a nice baby? Well, in the words of my brother, Josh (who got to see him first, I might add), "He's kind of fuzzy. He looks like a kitten with no tail." Well, after first glance, I knew that my new baby brother had stolen my heart. I just couldn't wait until the time that I got to hold him.

Now, I look at him as he is getting ready for his special birthday with Dad and Mom. 13 is the big number in our household, because it's considered the 'hood' year (ya know, woman'hood', man'hood'.) I look at him and I see a young man who has grown up so much. A young man who has matured in the last year to such a degree as to astonish me exceedingly. Well, perhaps not astonish, but it has certainly been a joy to watch. He is such a wonderful brother and friend to me. He's extremely tender and caring and always has a hug for me whenever I need (or seem to need) one. He's very forgiving of all of his sister's faults and has an awesome sense of humor and great wit.



I love you tons and tons, Caleb!!! I don't know what I would do without you and I praise the Lord that He protected you and gave you to us. :-)


(I promise to come back and post pictures from their evening and his birthday morning at a later time). :-)