When His Grace is Sufficient

Too often I try to be a perfect little Christian. You know, the kind where we always put on a face, no matter how we're feeling. We had to give such a perfect image... or at least, that's what we feel like we have to do. Yet, day by day, I fail miserably at this formidable task. Look happy when I'm as low as dirt?  Try to make others feel good when I myself am crying from all the pain on the inside?

Let's try to be realistic about this for just a moment. We feel this pressure that, as Christians, we have this higher standard to uphold. That suddenly, being sinners saved by Grace, we now have to act like saved by Grace people and throw that sinner part in the wind. Oh wait, I just remembered... we can't.  We're sinners. Period. Before we were saved by Christ's blood, we were sinners. After we were saved by Christ's blood, we're still sinners.

Yes, we are covered and our names are in the lamb's book of life, but the point is, we're still sinners.  I don't know about you, but I'm rather weary of trying to pretend I'm something that I'm not.  I can't continue going on, day by day, pretending that all is well with me when it isn't. Yes, we are called to a higher standard now of living, but that doesn't mean that we won't sometimes stumble... and when we do, we experience that grace and mercy all over again. Why do you think there are so many verses TO CHRISTIANS in the bible talking about God's mercies are new every morning or turning away from our wicked ways?  It's because God KNEW we would continue to fall into sin. He knew it from the beginning of creation, before we were even brought into existence.

Just recently I experienced one of my 'down moods'. You know, the ones where everything just kinda hits you like a train? All those emotions go flooding through your mind and you feel as if you're going to drown in it all. Unfortunately, I was at a party... not a great place to suddenly have a 'break down', for lack of better words. But hey, gotta get hit at the most inopportune times, right? 

Thankfully, one of my 'Titus 2 women' noticed and helped me get away. We snuck back to her room and we talked. She encouraged and lifted me up when I needed it most... but the thing she said to me that stuck the most was that 'God can handle all of your big emotions'.  See, I was feeling guilty, yes, guilty, for being so emotional. What was wrong with me anyway? Everyone else was having a grand ol' time and I was ruining it by letting my emotions come into play. Of course, I didn't ruin anyone's day and everyone had a wonderful time, thankfully.  But it was good for me to be reminded of that simple fact; that God can handle my big emotions.

Too often I forget the whole point of my relationship with Christ. Sometimes I start viewing it as a 'Father up in Heaven.... who looks down at us'.... but I kind of forget that whole 'Father' part... I mean, when I have a problem, I love talking to my dad about it. Why? Because he's so full of wisdom and good advice... so why do I forget that my Father in Heaven is the same way and just as approachable as my father on earth?  Because as soon as I forget that, everything else comes crashing in.

Thoughts of doubt fill my head, I start feeling like a failure. All these problems start rising up, so I put more burdens on my shoulders. I try to carry it all and when my knees finally buckle under the crushing weight, I blame myself and feel guilty for not being joyful about it and putting on a face.

It's like we forgot that relationship with Christ. He is the one Who wants to carry our burdens for us. Yet somehow we feel like we have to do it all ourselves. And here's why, for me anyway, I think I do it.  I feel like it's  a 'proving myself good enough' kind of thing. Like, I can handle it because 'I'm a good Christian and I know how to deal with all this junk'.... but apparently, I don't. Because the way we're supposed to handle that junk, as Christians, is to give it to God.   We're not supposed to try holding it all ourselves. We can't. We physically, emotionally, and mentally can't truly handle all of it. And God knew that. Again, He gives us mercy and tells us that He knows we can't handle it and what we need to do is to give it to Him because He can.

Yet again, however, we do this thing of turning our backs on that offer. We don't need His help. We can handle it because, after all, I've got God... oh wait...

So I stop and think for a moment and realize just how silly I'm being. Here I talk about the fact that 'I'm just a sinner who's been saved by Grace' and yet I act like I was just 'saved by Grace' as if I didn't have anything to be saved from, really. As if I'm perfect and I live a happy and wonderful life because if I dare to say anything to the contrary, I'll be snapped at.

But who are these 'people' we fear are snapping at us? Who do we fear to be judged by? Other Christians? Just people in general? And yet, they are the one thing that we shouldn't worry about at all. Because we don't need their approval ratings. We only need God's. Yet time and time again I find myself wondering if people are going to approve of this action or that. If people will think I'm lame because I did this or that. Or if I will lose my witness because I've crumbled under the weight of my burdens.

Then those words come running back through my mind.... "God is big enough to handle it all."

Why do I keep trying to be perfect when I already know it's impossible? It's like trying to put toothpaste back in the tube... it ain't happin'.

However, there is a standard to live by. But the wonderful thing is that, though we have instructions on how we now need to live our lives and grow in Christ, we still have the verses that remind us of God's mercy. He knows it's a journey, one that lasts a lifetime. As we walk along our path, there will be days when we are solid and tight. But there will also be days when the pain and grief that surround us come crashing in over our walls and we have to learn to let go.  We just have to close our eyes, hold out our hands and let God rescue us.

Stop listening to the lies about how we have to be perfect. Because, as my Titus 2 woman friend also reminded me, if we were perfect, there would be no room for God. No need for Him. And that is actually a very sad thought. I can't imagine my life without Christ. He is my everything, but that doesn't mean that I'm not also human and a sinner and I will still fail on my quest to become like Him. Sometimes I just have to let His grace be sufficient for me. I have to stop holding on and just be held, broken as I may be. He will hold me together if I let Him.

When God is Sufficient

It happened again last night... the recurring dream/nightmare. I'm not really sure what to call it. All I can say is that as soon as I awake and find that this wonderful thing I was dreaming of is not real, I feel immediate heartache. Sometimes even while dreaming I think to myself, "This isn't real..." and the heartache sets in early. No matter when it comes, though, it does arrive at some point.

Have you ever had a wish, a desire for something and just felt like it was always out of your grasp? Either by circumstances or other odd reasons?

I have a dream/desire. It's one that is very close to my heart. Yet it always seems like it will be impossible to reach.




So last night when this nightmare (or dream... which is it anyway?) kept me from sleeping well on into the wee morning hours, I kept waking up with that old familiar ache. It's hard to explain, but if you've ever suffered loss or had a desire so big for something it hurt to think about it, then you understand. Needless to say, I was frustrated. Why did this have to hurt? Why couldn't it be filled with excitement or something instead? But no. It had to ache.

I drove to work this morning, the pain still fresh in my heart. I was thankful that I would have the distraction of several awesome kids to keep my mind off of it, but I dreaded the long, lonely drive home.

My day went well. I had so much fun with my nanny kids. There is nothing quite as satisfying as being around kiddos who are just awesome and adorable and amazing and sweet and funny.. =)
However, as I walked out to my car, the old feeling crept in again. I tried to keep my mind off of it. Cranked the radio up to drown out my thoughts. but it didn't work.

Finally, while listening to the radio DJ asking if we were taking time to really get 'plugged in' with God, I had the lightbulb moment of 'duh, pray about this'. Now you might be laughing at me and thinking, why didn't she think of that sooner? Let me explain a bit more about this 'thing' of mine... I have had a very hard time praying for it because I sometimes feel convicted that I need to just be content where I'm at and quit asking God all the time to change things up. That He has me right where He wants me and when He's ready for that to change, He'll let me know... the other half of me realizes that it isn't wrong to lay our desires at His feet. Our heavenly Father wants to know how we feel, what we want, etc. But we also need to be content when the answer is 'no'. So I've always found myself in this conundrum. How do I pray for the desires of my heart but also be content? So in any case, that's where I've always been and that's where I was at when I realized that I should just pray.

So I turned off the radio and just poured out my heart to God. No better time than when in a quiet vehicle. =)

I basically just said, "God, you know my heart. You know this desire of mine. I don't know why You've kept it from me, but I do know You have a plan that I need to follow. But I just have a hard time understanding. Are you placing this desire so strongly on my heart because You are trying to prepare me for it? Or is it simply there because *I* want it?"

I sat quietly for a minute, thinking....

"God, are you trying to give me a sign that this IS going to happen?"

I immediately think how silly this is... it's not going to happen. So quit getting your hopes up... and oh if this ache would only go away!

"God, can you please just give me a sign on whether or not this is or isn't happening? I could bear it if I knew... even if it wasn't going to happen.. or even if it was, just several years down the road!..."

My prayer trailed off as I heard, very clearly, "Sarah, my child, am I not sufficient for you?"

My plea stopped dead. Was Christ sufficient for me? Or had I allowed my dreams and desires to take first place in my heart?

It slowly dawned on me that yes, Christ was sufficient. I didn't need a 'sign' that this was going to work out. All I needed was to remember that I have a Father in heaven who is going to give me the best that is in His plan. I don't need to be worrying about it because He has it under control. He holds the world in His hand!

Just like that, an unexplainable peace flowed over me.

I smiled out at the world around me.

Folks, I serve an awesome God! The God who cares SO much about me that He sent His Son to DIE on a cross, be buried, and rise again just so that I, a worthless sinner, could sit with Him in heaven someday. So that He could lavish me with His love and unfailing mercy. There is nothing to describe the joy that wells up in my heart when I think about it. My God is awesome. And I mean that in the most majestic way.

So yes, Christ is sufficient. Does it mean I won't still desire for this dream of mine every so often? No, but it does mean that I can look back on this and gain that same peace that Christ IS sufficient.

Quick Update From The Long Lost Girl

I feel as if I haven't blogged in forever... oh wait, I haven't. =P

Well, I'm back again. Glad to see me? Maybe... maybe not. Who knows? In any case, I'm back again. Hopefully I'll keep up with promises of all these fun posts. My life has been slightly out of order lately.

For one thing, we just arrived home last night from a week long trip up to California. Our dear friends (aka adopted cousins!) were celebrating the graduation of their eldest daughter. It was so much fun to be able to go up for a mini vacation and enjoy spending some time with them. =) Many, many memories were made. For the graduation party, my siblings and I sang, along with a few others, as part of Kara's 'graduation choir', so to speak. We sang several songs, including one from Celtic Thunder called 'Place in the Choir'. It was LOTS of fun!! =) I got to play guitar for a couple songs, so that was double score. After a wonderful speech from both parents and the graduate we made room for dancing! Calling English Contra dancing is something that I've enjoyed for a while now. I had offered to call dances at Kara's graduation, so that was a lot of fun. Everyone really seemed to have a good time, too. =)

While we were up there, we got to meet one of their real cousins from Texas. That was loads of fun and we all decided we fit in as one big crazy group. We made several 'scenic' ventures and got to go to the coast, Burney Falls (a BEAUTIFUL waterfall that Becca and I got to see last time we went up), saw the Redwood forest, and got to eat at the 'mess hall' that was used for loggers way back in the 80's/90s. That was really neat. Basically the set up was a bunch of long tables and then your server just brought out plates and bowls of all sorts of yummy goodness. Orange juice, coffee, bacon, toast, eggs, biscuits and gravy, and potatoes. If we ran out of something, we just asked for more and she brought it out. It was really cool. Perfect place for hungry boys, methinks. =) It set us up perfectly for a long day looking at the redwood forest and the ocean.


I think that the ocean might have been my favorite spot we went to. Mainly because no one else was there but us and well, quite frankly, it is just beautiful. I'd love to get a little beach house and just go and write. Mom said she'd tag along and cook and clean for me... hmm... thinking that might be a pretty awesome deal. (both photos were taken with my cell)







Hanging out, though, was truly the best. Fun to just visit, laugh, visit, laugh, play music, laugh, dance, laugh, swim, laugh. Yeah, basically a lot of laughing. However, the awesome thing is that we also had many wonderful discussions. But, our lifesaver was the pool. Their house, which is just beautiful, has an awesome backyard with an awesome pool. We pretty much spent a lot of time in there.. It was just SO hot! =)

Also, another neat thing was that, two days after the graduation party, was Meri's birthday! So we got to stick around for that as well! (Meri is the second daughter). Naturally, we had lots of fun. That morning, we got up and Josh and Dad fixed her their famous biscuits and gravy. Then, we opened gifts... she received a recurve bow and arrows to go with it from the men in her family, so she spent a good portion of the morning shooting. Then, while her cousin Abigail and uncle took her off to go buy some targets, the rest of us girls went out and decorated the deck in Hawaiian fashion, then surprised her with it when she got back. =) We did some dancing until about 8ish, and then we decided that it would be fun to just go for a late night swim. So we did! It was the most impromptu, silliest (in a good way!) thing I have ever done! Ok... actually not. But it was still fun! We swam until around 10:30. It was crazy fun! Definitely helped us cool down after the intense heat from the day!

However, despite the heat, we really enjoyed our time there. It was a big bummer when we had to leave. Hopefully I can steal some pictures from my sister so I can post some later.

Yet, it is also really nice to be home again. There is so much to do and I'm really looking forward to getting back to work again! We've got some landscaping in the yard coming up (finally gave up on trying to grow grass in the yard, so we'll just be bringing in some pretty gravel), putting in our volleyball court, and cleaning out the shop and such for Joshua's graduation party!

On that subject... wow. I can't believe he's this old already! Makes me feel.. super old.. lol!

Also, before I close, I'd like to make mention of a friend of mine who is working on getting his book published. The awesome news? You can help! He's currently entered in a contest and all he needs are lots of votes. Go visit HIS SITE to check out a synopsis of the book and to vote. If he gets enough votes, he could be up and running for a publishing grant. Also, check out his blog!

Alright! Off to my crazy life! Hope to see you all around here again soon!

Trust Me Not

When you have a secret, be it big or small, you don't want to tell just anyone about it. You might tell a very close friend or family member, but you're not going to tell that 'friend' who you see on occasion. Why? You haven't built up a "Trust-Relationship" with them.

In order to share important or 'awkward' things with people, you have to know you can trust them. If you know a person is a blabber mouth, you aren't going to trust them with your secret or struggle because you know that by the end of the week, everyone else will know about it, too (and, more than likely, not in the real sense of what is going on).

There have been times when I have trusted a friend with a struggle or personal prayer request, only to find out later from a different friend that said first friend had told several other people about it. That hurts. It hurts to know that something you told a person and trusted them to keep secret didn't end up being so. Raise your hand if you've had that situation. I imagine all of us have.

It really does hurt, doesn't it? And once that trust has been broken, it's very difficult to build it up again to the same level it had been at before. Friendships are often times ruined because of these incidents.

I was remembering some of those incidents today and it got me to thinking. The only reason I don't tell certain people about personal struggles any more is simply because at one time they broke that trust. It may have been accidental (even I'm guilty of letting something slip without meaning to!), but it is still that image that you get from it that seems to stick in your mind.

I then realized that, if I don't share my burdens with others because of a lack of trust, I really have *no excuse* for not trusting God. When has He *ever* broken my trust?? When has He *ever* failed me? Never, never. Yet I have such a hard time trusting Him with things in my life. Will He provide for my daily needs, my spiritual needs, my desires? Can I trust Him with this certain thing I'm struggling with?

Hah. It makes me chuckle to think about the irony of it. Here He has NEVER broken my trust (if anything, He has always been building it up!) yet I can't even trust Him *completely* with small things like life decisions, relationships, books, etc. Terrible, ain't it? Yet there is the awful truth.

It also seems ironic to me that He gave us life, yet we somehow think we can take control of it. We somehow decided that we could make our own life decisions and take our own paths. And yes, we can, because He gave us that freedom, but if we are following Him, He has taken that freedom and is holding it to mold it into a better form for His will. Yet, He does it with our permission. How many times, when you're praying for a certain something, has His quiet voice asked you to give it to Him? How many times does He patiently wait while you struggle with handing your will over to Him so that He may mold it to match His? He asks, yet He still allows us the choice to give it to Him, or to hold on to it. Which makes us more joyful? I certainly don't feel joyful when I'm hangin' on to it!

As humans, we seem to crave this desire for chaos, drama, distraction, and stress. Before you protest, let's just think about it for a moment. What does your calendar look like? Do you feel your heart rate going up a bit when you think of all the things you need to accomplish today? Do you begin to feel overwhelmed with the looming task for school project?  We've all had our moments. Yet, if we were to give all of these completely to God and trust that He will give us the strength to follow through and get it done, life suddenly becomes clearer. You begin to feel like maybe you don't have such a mountain of work after all. It all comes into perspective.

But, the problem is... we rarely gave it Him. We might pray about whether we should buy that house or car and whatnot, but do we pray for small things like "Lord, help me to bless others today,"    "Lord, please use me to Your glory and let Your will become my will,". I know I don't do this every day. Sometimes, if I'm thinking about it, I'll send up a quick prayer, but I don't start out each morning thinking about how I can serve Him. I read my bible, do my devotion, check it off the list and move on to other tasks.

Now, I'm not saying other tasks aren't important. Unfortunately, we still have to fold the laundry, clean house, and feed our families. But is our main focus on serving Christ throughout the day? I tend to forget that just by treating my sibling nicely even when I'm really irritated with them is still serving Christ because I'm showing love to said sibling. Or that by doing the grocery shopping is blessing my worn out mother. Or that rubbing my sister's shoulders after she's had a stressful day helps to lighten her mood and makes her feel better.

Isn't this what Jesus would be doing for us? Didn't He wash the disciple's feet? That seemed like a small, unimportant task, yet it was magnified because of serving attitude.

So, are we trusting God to give us strength for these tasks? Are we trusting Him that His will is better than our own and that our life is really His and His alone? I know I struggle with this daily, and I greatly covet prayers that God would continue to mold me into His form. Yet, fleshly desires set in and I find the struggle becomes harder.

Next month my goal is start out each morning by placing my trust in God in things that have been bothering me. I won't do it all at once as that can sometimes become overwhelming, and I want each one to be a serious, heartfelt decision. Then I'm going to focus on keeping that trust and not taking it back. I would greatly appreciate your prayers, brethren, as I do this. I know that the enemy waits and does not falter in his watching for opportunities to snare his prey.

However, with a 'little help' from the Lord, I think I'll be just fine.... oh wait... I mean, the Lord will give me the strength to guard myself against the enemy. =)

Escapades of Josh and Sarah ~Ep. 1

Josh and I are siblings, yes.. but we like to call each other P.I.C (Partners In Crime). Ever since we were little, we got into a lot of scrapes together. Or, as we both say to one another, "... and most of it was your fault..." lol.

Well, I figured it would be kind of fun to share a few of those as they happen. I have my other 'series' called "Just Your Typical Day on the Ranch" but this won't always have to do with ranch stuff.

So, today I got to do something super scary and super exciting. I had my first 'solo' drive in Albuquerque. If you know the area, it's a pretty busy town. Not like L.A. or Denver or anything, but still busy for a New Mexico girl. Especially when you've only driven through it once (staying on the freeway the entire time). This time I actually had to get *into* town... Driving with a bunch of other crazy drivers.. yeah. Josh and I needed to go to voice lessons. Usually Becca drives us (as she's taking too) but this week she was gone. Anyway, point is, I had to drive into town without any other experienced driver in the car...


Josh is, however, really good at remembering streets. In fact, he's often times guided my sis around town (one a few, rare occasions when she needed it). He's got awesome memory. Well, I knew where we needed to go. Had the directions. Really simple. We needed to go to voice lessons, then go get lunch at Panda Express, then head home. Simple, right?

Wrong. We got to voice lessons, da da da da, finished up, and began to head back. First thing to go wrong? I turned left when I should have turned right. So we ended up going the wrong way on a main road. No prob. Just turn around. We turned around and got to the next street we needed to go to. I turned left again and Josh began saying, "Oh wait, we're going the wrong way. We need to turn around again." We laughed about it, and I turned around. Then, we got confused which way I would turn next so we called mom and found out that we were actually going the wrong way. The first way I had turned was correct. Of course, I teased Josh about that (and said, "That was your fault, I'll have you know!"), turned around, and headed back South again... We were laughing about it and all that, finally got to our destination, got lunch, and began to head home.

When we got back on the road again, this car decided to merge into my lane... unfortunately, the nose of my car was past it's bumper... another car on my other side was right next to me, so I was sandwiched in the middle.. Thankfully, nothing happened (Praise the Lord), but it was *very* scary. However, as we passed, we noticed it was two teenaged girls just chatting away... *sigh*.... People! Pay attention on the road! =P

So we made it back on the freeway to head back home. As we were driving along, I glanced back in my rear view and noticed the trunk was sort of... flapping or something. So I was able to pull off the highway and, as soon as I stopped, it popped open all the way. Josh hopped out and shut it.

As soon as he hopped back into the car he just looked at me. Then, with a very serious face he said, "By the way, that was your fault.." lol! Ah, gotta love brothers with a sense of humor. So we laughed about it again. I mean, it was quite a hilarious day. What else could have happened? Thankfully those were not 'famous last words' and we got back safely.

But, we both decided that, even though we were older, our escapades are far from over. :-)

Will You Build a Life With Me?

I don't do a lot of topics about marriage because, quite frankly, I have zero experience when it comes to it. However, today the topic was brought up while we sipped on coffee with a friend. The boys were wrestling in the background and having nerf-gun wars in the midst of us as we talked on this serious subject. Must have made for an interesting picture.

This friend, mother of two boys, was talking about how the standard of living for her boys when they grew up and got married would be much more different than that of her and her husband's at the current time. We were all agreeing and it got me to thinking about it.

Quite honestly, I think that many young ladies in general are a bit spoiled. MYSELF INCLUDED! I'm most certainly not pointing fingers (or if I am, it's at myself). :-) See, we've grown up in homes where we each have our own sewing machine, or computer, or car, or whatever. Now, maybe your parents didn't buy those things for you, and in that case, then I commend you for making those sorts of purchases on your own. However, there are several things that we can allow ourselves to be spoiled in. We can buy clothing, makeup, hobby supplies, etc with our own money because we have no other purpose for it (except to put some by into savings, but we're not talking about that). The point is, we don't have to care for a family. We're not feeding six children, clothing them, and buying their school books. We're not making house, car, or insurance payments.

So, what is our expectation going into marriage? Quite honestly, if I were a young man, I would be rather intimidated by girls who 'had it all' because I would wonder if they expected those things on my low-income after we were married (I honestly have no idea if that's how guys feel, I'm just saying it from my perspective)

Now, before I go further, I want to share a bit of a story. Most of y'all may not know, but 9 years ago, our family moved from a 4 bedroom, 3 bath house into a 2 bedroom, 1 bath house. Quite a difference. Now, 9 years ago, I was a pretty bratty kid. Maybe not terrible, but let's face it, none of us are perfect, especially at a young age. Needless to say, I didn't have much of a relationship with my siblings, and moving into a tiny house where there was no space to 'get away' just about drove me crazy. That's where my lilac bushes came in (as most of y'all probably know about). In any case, it really stretched me. I had to learn to love those around me even more than I had before, to accept them for who they were and love them still. It was tough, but it certainly grew and matured me in a way that nothing else could.

Then, not long after buying the ranch, the mortgage business plummeted. My dad was a mortgage lender and, naturally, we felt the brunt of the economy's down slide pretty hard. We came very close to the bank foreclosing on us (as it was rather difficult making loan payments for the ranch when there was no money coming in). Living off of beans and rice taught us a lot. We had to live with the bare minimum. No 'pleasure' buying. No ice cream. No 'fun food'. Literally, the bare minimum.

But ya know what? I'm so very glad we went through that time. Not only was it an awesome testament of God's amazing power and love for us, but we, as a family, bonded together in an amazing way. We had nothing except God and each other to lean on. Our spiritual lives were strengthened as we learned to trust in God completely to provide for us.

However, one of the things that I look back on now, as a young woman, is that it taught me how to live with nothing. To be content with very little, and to make do with what I had. I honestly was so very thankful for that time because I feel that it has maybe prepared me a bit for the future.

If God sends me a husband, I don't know what our financial situation will be. I know that my husband will provide for me, but 'provide' doesn't mean that I'll get to buy lots of fun gadgets or clothes any time I want. Providing means that there is food on the table, clothes on our backs, and a roof over our heads (whether it be a small or large roof!). What more do you really need?

So, as we were having this conversation with our friend, I was thinking about how our family grew together during that hard time with the ranch and I wondered how young, newly married couples grew together. No doubt, what strengthens them together is the fact that they stick together through thick and thin, that they trust one another and grow over the tough things, the rough parts in life.

"House Hunters" is a TV program I like to watch when I get the chance to. I find it extremely interesting to watch the different couples finding houses. The ones that drive me nuts the most are these young, newly married, or 'pregnant-with-their-first-child' couples. They can be the pickiest people alive! They are looking for houses in a budget of several hundred thousand, and that means they are going big and grand. One couple I remember in particular was looking at one house and didn't like the paint color. They were complaining about how they didn't think they could live in a house with that particular color on the walls.

I was flabbergasted. Really? You would be so discontent with a paint color, something so easily changed, that you don't want to consider that house to buy?? Really?

As Americans we are fed this lie that we deserve the best, when in reality we don't "deserve" anything. We can work and save for luxuries, but we most certainly do not deserve them. Yet so many young couples go into marriage thinking that they deserve the best. 

When I think about "building a life" with someone someday, I don't want to expect that I will have everything that my parents do now. I want to 'build up', starting with the foundation. Although I wouldn't say that you 'can't' build a relationship when you have everything right off the bat, I will say that I have seen stronger relationships forged on very little.

Now, I won't lie and say I don't have a 'dream house' with the perfect kitchen and porch, or that I don't enjoy buying a cute shirt every now and then, because I do. However, I don't want to set up this expectation of my future husband to provide those things for me in our first year, or first half, even, or our marriage. In fact, I may never get those things, but ya know what? I could live with that. So long as we were happy, following Christ, and growing stronger together each day, then what more can I really ask for? And right now, I can be practicing that sort of thing by being content with my life right now. As it is that this very present moment.

And that, my friends, are just a few randomly put thoughts that went through my head today. What are you thoughts on the subject?