When His Grace is Sufficient

Too often I try to be a perfect little Christian. You know, the kind where we always put on a face, no matter how we're feeling. We had to give such a perfect image... or at least, that's what we feel like we have to do. Yet, day by day, I fail miserably at this formidable task. Look happy when I'm as low as dirt?  Try to make others feel good when I myself am crying from all the pain on the inside?

Let's try to be realistic about this for just a moment. We feel this pressure that, as Christians, we have this higher standard to uphold. That suddenly, being sinners saved by Grace, we now have to act like saved by Grace people and throw that sinner part in the wind. Oh wait, I just remembered... we can't.  We're sinners. Period. Before we were saved by Christ's blood, we were sinners. After we were saved by Christ's blood, we're still sinners.

Yes, we are covered and our names are in the lamb's book of life, but the point is, we're still sinners.  I don't know about you, but I'm rather weary of trying to pretend I'm something that I'm not.  I can't continue going on, day by day, pretending that all is well with me when it isn't. Yes, we are called to a higher standard now of living, but that doesn't mean that we won't sometimes stumble... and when we do, we experience that grace and mercy all over again. Why do you think there are so many verses TO CHRISTIANS in the bible talking about God's mercies are new every morning or turning away from our wicked ways?  It's because God KNEW we would continue to fall into sin. He knew it from the beginning of creation, before we were even brought into existence.

Just recently I experienced one of my 'down moods'. You know, the ones where everything just kinda hits you like a train? All those emotions go flooding through your mind and you feel as if you're going to drown in it all. Unfortunately, I was at a party... not a great place to suddenly have a 'break down', for lack of better words. But hey, gotta get hit at the most inopportune times, right? 

Thankfully, one of my 'Titus 2 women' noticed and helped me get away. We snuck back to her room and we talked. She encouraged and lifted me up when I needed it most... but the thing she said to me that stuck the most was that 'God can handle all of your big emotions'.  See, I was feeling guilty, yes, guilty, for being so emotional. What was wrong with me anyway? Everyone else was having a grand ol' time and I was ruining it by letting my emotions come into play. Of course, I didn't ruin anyone's day and everyone had a wonderful time, thankfully.  But it was good for me to be reminded of that simple fact; that God can handle my big emotions.

Too often I forget the whole point of my relationship with Christ. Sometimes I start viewing it as a 'Father up in Heaven.... who looks down at us'.... but I kind of forget that whole 'Father' part... I mean, when I have a problem, I love talking to my dad about it. Why? Because he's so full of wisdom and good advice... so why do I forget that my Father in Heaven is the same way and just as approachable as my father on earth?  Because as soon as I forget that, everything else comes crashing in.

Thoughts of doubt fill my head, I start feeling like a failure. All these problems start rising up, so I put more burdens on my shoulders. I try to carry it all and when my knees finally buckle under the crushing weight, I blame myself and feel guilty for not being joyful about it and putting on a face.

It's like we forgot that relationship with Christ. He is the one Who wants to carry our burdens for us. Yet somehow we feel like we have to do it all ourselves. And here's why, for me anyway, I think I do it.  I feel like it's  a 'proving myself good enough' kind of thing. Like, I can handle it because 'I'm a good Christian and I know how to deal with all this junk'.... but apparently, I don't. Because the way we're supposed to handle that junk, as Christians, is to give it to God.   We're not supposed to try holding it all ourselves. We can't. We physically, emotionally, and mentally can't truly handle all of it. And God knew that. Again, He gives us mercy and tells us that He knows we can't handle it and what we need to do is to give it to Him because He can.

Yet again, however, we do this thing of turning our backs on that offer. We don't need His help. We can handle it because, after all, I've got God... oh wait...

So I stop and think for a moment and realize just how silly I'm being. Here I talk about the fact that 'I'm just a sinner who's been saved by Grace' and yet I act like I was just 'saved by Grace' as if I didn't have anything to be saved from, really. As if I'm perfect and I live a happy and wonderful life because if I dare to say anything to the contrary, I'll be snapped at.

But who are these 'people' we fear are snapping at us? Who do we fear to be judged by? Other Christians? Just people in general? And yet, they are the one thing that we shouldn't worry about at all. Because we don't need their approval ratings. We only need God's. Yet time and time again I find myself wondering if people are going to approve of this action or that. If people will think I'm lame because I did this or that. Or if I will lose my witness because I've crumbled under the weight of my burdens.

Then those words come running back through my mind.... "God is big enough to handle it all."

Why do I keep trying to be perfect when I already know it's impossible? It's like trying to put toothpaste back in the tube... it ain't happin'.

However, there is a standard to live by. But the wonderful thing is that, though we have instructions on how we now need to live our lives and grow in Christ, we still have the verses that remind us of God's mercy. He knows it's a journey, one that lasts a lifetime. As we walk along our path, there will be days when we are solid and tight. But there will also be days when the pain and grief that surround us come crashing in over our walls and we have to learn to let go.  We just have to close our eyes, hold out our hands and let God rescue us.

Stop listening to the lies about how we have to be perfect. Because, as my Titus 2 woman friend also reminded me, if we were perfect, there would be no room for God. No need for Him. And that is actually a very sad thought. I can't imagine my life without Christ. He is my everything, but that doesn't mean that I'm not also human and a sinner and I will still fail on my quest to become like Him. Sometimes I just have to let His grace be sufficient for me. I have to stop holding on and just be held, broken as I may be. He will hold me together if I let Him.

"My Lord, I have failed you..."

(This is originally from my writing blog, but I wanted to share it here, too)

Sir Hawthorn waited outside the King's chamber. He was nervous, which was unusual. On a normal day while visiting his King, he felt at peace, happy, and in awe to be in the presence of such a King as he had the pleasure of serving. But today... today was different. He had no happy tidings to bring, no questions or requests that needed answering. Today he was only to give an account of the recent quest he had returned from. 

"The King will see you now," the page announced. Sir Hawthorn jumped slightly, being drawn out of his reverie rather suddenly. He stood, nodded, straightened his uniform, and followed the page's lead. He tried to calm the nervous butterflies in his stomach, but to no avail. How was one supposed to even prepare for such a task as this?

As he entered his King's chamber, he took a deep breath and kept his eyes on the ground. He could not bring himself to look upon his King's majesty. Not like this. 

"Sir Hawthorn! My faithful servant, how are you?" The King exclaimed, coming down from the throne and extending his arms for a warm embrace. Sir Hawthorn ducked his head in a quick salute, but stepped back quickly to evade the embrace.

"My Lord, you will not think so highly of me once you have heard my news," Sir Hawthorn, eyes still lowered, willed his voice not to tremble. He had gotten the first part out. Now to just tell the news.

"What is it, my son? You do not need to fear telling me anything. Come, sit and talk," The King motioned to two chairs by a table. Sir Hawthorn reluctantly followed and took a seat beside his King. He felt ashamed to be sitting so near to Him. 

"Now tell me, what is it that troubles you?" the King asked, in a gentle voice. 

Sir Hawthorn did his best to keep the tears from rolling down his face, yet one escaped and slowly made a trail down his cheek. "I have failed you, my Lord. Yes, I have failed you," the last words were barely whispered.

"Ah, I see..... I believe I know what you are talking about," the King answered, slowly. 

"What? But how could you? I've only just returned," Sir Hawthorn replied, confused.

"Yes, that is so. But I still know. You feel you have failed because your recent quest failed. Is this correct?" 

Sir Hawthorn stared at the King for a moment, surprised. "Yes... yes, this is so," 

The King smiled sadly at Sir Hawthorn. "My son, you did not fail me. Not in the way you think. Your quest failed because it was a quest of your own making. I did not send you on the quest and you did not even seek my permission,"

"But I saw a need, Sire, and my desire to serve this need was great!" Sir Hawthorn argued.

"Indeed! I saw it was so. But still, this quest was not of my making and therefore, you feel as if you have failed because your quest did not end as planned."

Sir Hawthorn sat quietly, realizing his King's words were true indeed. 

"My son, did you receive my letter for the quest that I would have had you go on?"

"Yes," Sir Hawthorn replied quietly, once again looking at the ground in shame.

"And did you receive them before, or during your own quest?"

"Once before, sire, and once during," Sir Hawthorn replied, beginning to realize where this was going.

"Indeed, it was so. I knew you had gone on a quest of your own. I knew you were thinking of going on this quest before you even went! This was why I sent you the instructions for mine. And when you still left for your own, I sent you instructions once more, in hopes that you would listen and return home."

"But, my Lord, I felt that there was greater need for my quest. That it was more... important."

The King smiled sadly and looked into Sir Hawthorn's eyes. "And that, my son, is where you are very wrong. No quest of mine is too great or too small for the one I have given it to. You need only listen and fulfill that quest as best you are able in order to please me. I cannot make you go on the quests I send you. I do not want to make you. I wish for you to serve me with your whole heart and willingly because you choose to do so," 

"Yes, my Lord," Sir Hawthorn replied. "But the fact remains, that I *have* failed you,"

"Nay, that is not so. My quest is still standing. It still needs to be done. And there is time to complete it."

"But, my Lord.... I feel.. I feel as if I am not able to complete it. Not without your help," 

The King smiled and took Sir Hawthorn's hand. "And my help I will certainly give you, my son. You need only ask and I shall be by your side," 

Sir Hawthorn smiled and bowed his head, "Then I have only to receive Your instructions once again, my Lord, and I shall go on Your quest."

Have you ever felt like you 'failed' the Lord? Like He had given you a task to do, but somehow that task got lost among the many other 'bigger' things you could be doing?

I know I've had it. Many, many times. In fact, I had it just recently. The sense of failure. The knowing that I wasn't doing what I was supposed to be doing.

See, as a writer, we sometimes get stuck in this sense of 'must be doing, must be doing'. And we're finding out what the most popular genre is at the moment so we can write some epic and amazing novel to put out there on the shelves of millions of book stores around the world. We start losing track of what our main goal is.

My most recent one was NaNoWriMo. I've written before about why I love this contest, so I won't repeat it again. But I was ready to participate and win and write a novel that I would publish and would become New York's Best seller, etc, etc, etc.  But I had something missing in my plan. A really big thing; God. I didn't have God in any of these plans. Sure I sort of halfheartedly prayed that God would give me inspiration and guidance on how to write this novel, but I wasn't focused on serving Him in it. I was focused on serving myself. I was tired of only being known as a 'children's author'. I wanted to write something my friends would read and actually enjoy. I wanted to write something that would become popular and talked about. I, I, I, I..... it's all about self.

So one evening, while driving home from work, I turned on the radio and heard a song. I don't remember what it was called or who it was by. But I do remember this... it was talking about "less of me, more of You, that who I want to be,". And the words struck a chord in my heart as I realized, "Lord, I have failed you. You gave me a task. A task that I thought was too small and not big enough. I got caught up in what the World thought of me instead of seeking You on a daily basis,". I started crying. Because you know what? This wasn't the first time I'd made that mistake. No, sir. I wish it was, but it wasn't.

As I cried, asking the Lord for forgiveness. And as I prayed, He said to me, "You haven't failed. Do the task that I already gave you and seek Me on it."

And so, feeling renewed again to go about my task, I began afresh. And isn't that wonderful that we can do that? That the Lord's mercies are new EVERY morning? It's beautiful and humbling.

So I 'failed' NaNoWriMo. I didn't get in a word count. I didn't get very far in my story. But I learned something far more valuable from it than I could have ever learned on my own. I may never come out with some big novel that hits the top 10 in book stores. Yet I will have something far better because it is the task, the quest that the Lord has given to me. And it is my honor to complete it, despite what others say, despite what I think, and despite the nagging that Satan gives me to tempt me to do something else.

And I have a feeling that this time, with the Lord by my side on His quest, I won't fail.

When God is Sufficient

It happened again last night... the recurring dream/nightmare. I'm not really sure what to call it. All I can say is that as soon as I awake and find that this wonderful thing I was dreaming of is not real, I feel immediate heartache. Sometimes even while dreaming I think to myself, "This isn't real..." and the heartache sets in early. No matter when it comes, though, it does arrive at some point.

Have you ever had a wish, a desire for something and just felt like it was always out of your grasp? Either by circumstances or other odd reasons?

I have a dream/desire. It's one that is very close to my heart. Yet it always seems like it will be impossible to reach.




So last night when this nightmare (or dream... which is it anyway?) kept me from sleeping well on into the wee morning hours, I kept waking up with that old familiar ache. It's hard to explain, but if you've ever suffered loss or had a desire so big for something it hurt to think about it, then you understand. Needless to say, I was frustrated. Why did this have to hurt? Why couldn't it be filled with excitement or something instead? But no. It had to ache.

I drove to work this morning, the pain still fresh in my heart. I was thankful that I would have the distraction of several awesome kids to keep my mind off of it, but I dreaded the long, lonely drive home.

My day went well. I had so much fun with my nanny kids. There is nothing quite as satisfying as being around kiddos who are just awesome and adorable and amazing and sweet and funny.. =)
However, as I walked out to my car, the old feeling crept in again. I tried to keep my mind off of it. Cranked the radio up to drown out my thoughts. but it didn't work.

Finally, while listening to the radio DJ asking if we were taking time to really get 'plugged in' with God, I had the lightbulb moment of 'duh, pray about this'. Now you might be laughing at me and thinking, why didn't she think of that sooner? Let me explain a bit more about this 'thing' of mine... I have had a very hard time praying for it because I sometimes feel convicted that I need to just be content where I'm at and quit asking God all the time to change things up. That He has me right where He wants me and when He's ready for that to change, He'll let me know... the other half of me realizes that it isn't wrong to lay our desires at His feet. Our heavenly Father wants to know how we feel, what we want, etc. But we also need to be content when the answer is 'no'. So I've always found myself in this conundrum. How do I pray for the desires of my heart but also be content? So in any case, that's where I've always been and that's where I was at when I realized that I should just pray.

So I turned off the radio and just poured out my heart to God. No better time than when in a quiet vehicle. =)

I basically just said, "God, you know my heart. You know this desire of mine. I don't know why You've kept it from me, but I do know You have a plan that I need to follow. But I just have a hard time understanding. Are you placing this desire so strongly on my heart because You are trying to prepare me for it? Or is it simply there because *I* want it?"

I sat quietly for a minute, thinking....

"God, are you trying to give me a sign that this IS going to happen?"

I immediately think how silly this is... it's not going to happen. So quit getting your hopes up... and oh if this ache would only go away!

"God, can you please just give me a sign on whether or not this is or isn't happening? I could bear it if I knew... even if it wasn't going to happen.. or even if it was, just several years down the road!..."

My prayer trailed off as I heard, very clearly, "Sarah, my child, am I not sufficient for you?"

My plea stopped dead. Was Christ sufficient for me? Or had I allowed my dreams and desires to take first place in my heart?

It slowly dawned on me that yes, Christ was sufficient. I didn't need a 'sign' that this was going to work out. All I needed was to remember that I have a Father in heaven who is going to give me the best that is in His plan. I don't need to be worrying about it because He has it under control. He holds the world in His hand!

Just like that, an unexplainable peace flowed over me.

I smiled out at the world around me.

Folks, I serve an awesome God! The God who cares SO much about me that He sent His Son to DIE on a cross, be buried, and rise again just so that I, a worthless sinner, could sit with Him in heaven someday. So that He could lavish me with His love and unfailing mercy. There is nothing to describe the joy that wells up in my heart when I think about it. My God is awesome. And I mean that in the most majestic way.

So yes, Christ is sufficient. Does it mean I won't still desire for this dream of mine every so often? No, but it does mean that I can look back on this and gain that same peace that Christ IS sufficient.

"For The First Time in Forever..."

"For the first time in forever, I'll finally go outside! For the first time in forever, I'll enjoy a new sunrise!
Don't know if I've been too busy, but I'm going to change that now! 'Cuz for the first time in forever!!!!!! I'll be doing something fun!"...


Ok, if you were able to sing along with that and actually keep it in rhythm, then you, my friend, are one amazing person... kinda like me for being able to write that all out.. But who's keep track anyway? ;-)

However, to go back to my little diddy, I was finally able to get outside and do some work today in my flower garden! I haven't done a flower garden in about 2 years or so because time just got away from me. And lately I haven't had much of a chance to enjoy the outdoors because 1) it's very windy out or 2) I was busy doing other things.

So, today I resolved that I would go out and work. So very glad I did!! The weather is so lovely... a few lazy clouds hanging in the sky, gently floating by. A light breeze teasing my hair from it's braid (which is actually really annoying but yeah... sounds fun to say). Oh! and the birds are singing sweet melodies to one another. It really is so very lovely out.

In any case, Caleb and I decided to go out and work on some stuff. He didn't realize I would put him to work when I invited him to, ahem, come outside with me... lol! But he seemed to have a fairly good time as we worked together.

Gardening/landscaping/working outside is one of my all time favorite things to do. But I never get a lot of it done. Silly, right? Well, I've been reading through this really neat book, "Be Well, Live Well: 14 Simple Ways to Excellent Health", authored by a friend of mine, Jeanne Drennan, and I've really enjoyed all the practical things she gives to help you on your way to, well, excellent health. One of them was to get out and do something you enjoy. That's far better than sitting around doing nothing. So, I decided that that would be the first change I make. It helps my overall attitude during the day to get out and 'get dirty', so to speak. But since I love the outdoors so much, it seriously does put me in a positive mood. (There are scientific facts that would show WHY I feel this way afterwards and about how great it is for your body to be outside, barefoot in the cool dirt... but I'll save that for another time).

In any case, I'm following one of the 'simple ways' and already today I feel fantastic. =) My lilac buds are doing so well (and for anyone who doesn't know me or hasn't gotten it from my blog title already, those lilac bushes have played a fairly big role in my growing years!). We're supposed to freeze again tonight, so I'm thinking I'm going to go out and take some extra precautions with my bushes to keep them from dying again.

So, what have you done on this lovely day? =)

Also, I'm really excited to get some new blog posts underway here. I've got some fun ideas up my sleeve so stay tuned!!

(dear me, I hope I don't say that too often without following through!)

Desiring is Desirable

Lately I seem to have gotten this very odd idea in my head. Not really sure where it came from, but it just planted itself and I've been having a rather hard time getting it out.....

This little thought is that it is wrong to long or desire for something. To be specific, that it is wrong to desire and long for marriage someday.

See, when I was younger, I had this idea that as soon as I graduated, I would get married and start raising a family. I mean, that that was something that was incorporated into my daily training: how to be a helpmeet. Now, I've still got a long way to go on that one, but I am training for it. So I figured I would get married right after highschool and move on with my life.

Apparently God had other plans. Two years later, still single but (and this is hard for some to understand) I'm rather content with it. God has given me a place in my home, has given me a task to do, and I'm really very content with that. In fact, several years ago, I was praying really hard for God to bring my husband and I really felt like God clearly answered that I needed to learn to be content in my singleness because I wasn't going to be getting married any time soon.

So, I have learned to keep myself busy, focusing on serving others and seeking the Lord's will. I may not be doing it perfectly every day, but at least I am striving for it, and that is all He asks of us.

However, to get back to my earlier point, I do still find myself wishing for a husband. Yet any time that desire comes up, I try to shoot it down, thinking it's wrong of me to want it.

I recently realized, though, that I hadn't prayed for my husband in a long time. You know how you pray for that "someone, whoever he may be"? Well, I hadn't done it in a long time. See, I kind of took God's message of "not right now" to mean "never, ever, therefore you must never ask again.".

Reality check here... I don't know God's plan for my life beyond what He has currently given me to do. I can't see my whole future and I don't know if it includes a husband and family. So why should I stop praying and desiring?

I think for me, I stopped praying because I was afraid it would take my focus off of God and onto husband hunting or something crazy like that. So instead, I just stopped thinking of it all together. I didn't want to dream of it, I didn't want to imagine it, I didn't want anything to do with it because I was afraid. Yet, I've begun thinking that perhaps that was the wrong course to take.

Praying and desiring are good things. Praying, we all know, is good because we need to tell God our hopes and dreams and desires and then ask Him to change those to match His perfect will. And desiring isn't wrong, either. I mean, God made women to desire a home and family of their own. That's how we're made. Where it gets wrong is if I let it take control of my life. When that's all I can think about, when it's all I can talk about with friends, when it's all I ever dream about, then it's become a god. And we all know that THAT is wrong. =)

So my recent life lesson has been to not be afraid of desiring or asking for things, but to remain content with where I am at and let the Lord guide me. If I remain completely submersed in Him, then I'm not going to stray. It's a tricky, thin line that I don't want to cross.

Learning to be content has probably been the hardest thing I've ever done... especially when I'm waiting for God to give me something to do. I don't really care for waiting with nothing to do and especially when it has to do with my life! But I've also learned, through many struggles and trials, that God's timing truly is the best and He really has my best interest in mind. Just like any father, He is watching over me and wants me to be happy, but He wants me to happy and joyful and content in the things that He has given me.

Have you had any life lessons so far this year?

Convention Surprises

This past Thursday, Friday, and Saturday were filled up. The CAPE homeschool convention was on! =) It's always a favorite time of year for me. Not only do I get to see friends and visit with them I also get to... well, see friends and visit with them. lol! Actually, it's a really great time to see friends, yes, but you also get to hear great speakers, see awesome vendors, and really get encouraged. =)

For the past two years I've had a table at the vending hall with a friend where we have sold our books. This year I wasn't as excited about it as I was the first year. I was disappointed that I hadn't gotten another book published and I was feeling a bit like a flake. Not only that, but I had a head cold, so I wasn't feeling all that great.

However, I got to convention, set up my books, started feeling a little excited about it, and settled in for a long weekend. When the first day ended with no sales, I was feeling a bit discouraged. However, I hadn't sold any books on Thursday of last year, either, so I figured it was just because mom's were looking around before they decided what to buy. So Friday dawned bright and early... way too early. I hadn't slept well, so I was feeling worse. With a somewhat bad start to my day, I was letting it affect the rest of my day. I only sold 4 books by the afternoon. I was feeling really discouraged. On top of that, I had a couple of people who weren't very nice stop at our table. Normally I would have been able to at least smile and try to encourage them (knowing they must be having a bad day or something). That day, however, I failed to be cheerful and let the bad moods of others affect me.

Saturday morning I woke up feeling a little better. I had been encouraged the day before by my wonderful mother, reminding me of my purpose and Who I needed to be glorifying. With her words in mind, I got to convention feeling much better. When I went to the exhibit hall to set up the table for the half day, I was greeted with a beautiful package, wrapped in newspaper (a writer's favorite!!) and a little note that read: "To Sarah Elizabeth, Authoress". No signature or any other indication of who it could be from. Inside was a beautiful journal and a homemade hair scrunchie. My curiosity was peaked to a high level. Who could have given that to me?

I inquired from friends, but no one really seemed to know. A few hours later, I stepped away from the table for a bit and, when I returned, my friend informed me that I had been left another package. This time it was a little bag of peanuts, some chocolates, and a note saying: "To Sarah, from ??" Now I was REALLY curious!! Who was doing this?? The Handwriting didn't match the other note, but if someone was trying to keep their anonymity, they certainly wouldn't use their own handwriting....

So I pondered over this for another hour or so before I left the table again to say hello to a friend. When I came back, my friend once again informed me that someone had dropped something off at our table. This time, however, there was a slight clue. The person who had dropped it off had simply tossed the note on the table, said, "The name's Paul" and ran off. The note was a folded up napkin that read: "Hey Sarah, I hope you sell lots of books today! =)". I scanned my brain trying to remember anyone I knew with the name of Paul. It came up blank. I really had no idea what was going on! A group of friends came up to the table and I told them about the new mystery. We all tried to figure it out for a bit... None of us had any ideas.

At lunch, a runner came up to me (for clarification, "Runners" are homeschoolers who have applied to help out at the convention. They kinda of have 'special' tasks like setting up, tearing down, helping vendors, etc, that other volunteers don't do, necessarily.). So a runner came up to me and said, "excuse me, ma'am, but I'm supposed to give this to you from Paul." It was a Dr. Pepper. I was totally floored. Not many people know that I *really* like Dr. Pepper. I don't have it very often, so it's a rare treat! I puzzled over this during lunch. My dear friend was laughing at me as I tried to figure this whole thing out. Who in the world??

Later, as I was looking at all the pictures of the graduates who would be graduating that afternoon, another runner came up and said, "I'm supposed to give this to you," It was another napkin note. I asked her who it was from, and she said she couldn't say.

At this point I thought I was going to go crazy! I really wanted to know who was doing this. I figured it had to be a friend, but I just didn't know who!

Finally, the culprits were revealed. Two of my good friends had pulled the whole thing off... Rachelle and Kelsey! They planned everything out, delivered the notes, got runners to do the little things for them, etc. It was totally awesome. And you know what? It really made my day. Not only did it add some interest to the rather slow day, but it really made me happy to think that they did that for me. I was totally floored. It was a blast hearing about how they pulled everything off!! I was completely clueless!!! =D

And then, my dear friend Sarah (who I lovingly call my 'conscience'- since she and I share names) was the one who got me the journal! =) So very sweet!!!! =D

So, thank you my lovely friends! Y'all are amazing and awesome! =) Now I just have to try to top it off next year!! =D  =D

Assuming for the Lord

How many times have we prayed 'Thy will be done'? I don't think I could count how many times I've said it. I've said it in church when reciting the "Lord's prayer" and probably prayed it many a time (just not those exact words).

We say it... but how much do we really mean it? I've realized that whenever I pray that God's will be done, I tend to assume that His will is going to match up with what I'm asking for. We have gotten this idea in our heads that when we ask the Lord for something, it will be given to us. Before I move on, I will say that yes, I know the verse in the bible that speaks of asking and we shall receive... but do we really know if what we are asking for is good?

Often times we commit things to prayer and we really expect a 'yes' in reply. We aren't ready for a 'no' and we certainly have a hard time accepting it when it's been given to us.

I remember, when I was much younger, I would ask my mom for something and, when she said no, I would simply go and ask Dad. Sometimes he would say yes (not knowing that mom had already said no).
Or, if they answered no, I would still go ahead and do said thing (or have said thing) and then later pretend that, "oh, I didn't hear you say that".....

Ok, enough about my childhood confessions.. hah! Seriously, though, I just recently realized that I do this to God... a lot. If He gives me an answer I don't like, I tend to pray about it several more times 'just to be sure'.

When I pray for God to give me a yes to buy that equipment, or write this book, or publish this story, or allow me to get married, I always have this little sub-conscience thought in the back of my mind.

He'll bring it to pass.

Why do I assume that? I'm not God. I don't know what God has willed for my life. I don't know if it includes getting married, raising a family, publishing hundreds of books, or getting fancy equipment to do recording and filming. I don't. But I assume that it will happen. I assume because it is what I desire and somehow I've allowed myself to think that if I pray for it hard and long enough, it will actually happen. The reality is, however, that God's will is perfect. Mine is not.

Now, it sounds great to say, "Oh, wow. I didn't realize I was doing that. No problem. Won't make the same mistake twice!"... nope.

It. Is. So. Hard.

It isn't easy to change! It isn't easy to realize when you're in the wrong. It isn't easy to confess and ask God's forgiveness for putting Him in a box and thinking I could make Him give me what I want. Nope. Not easy. In fact, I'm still working on getting over it. When we've formed a habit, it's difficult to 'un-form' it...

Now, here is a funny thing about God's perfect timing... We have recently been doing a bible study of sorts with 3 other families called "The Truth Project". Don't know if any of y'all have heard of it, but we are really enjoying it. The funny thing is that we got this study several years ago and never actually started it... yet, I realized that I'm not sure I really would have gotten a whole lot out of the study if we had done it back then. "Back then" I didn't really pay attention to bible studies, sermons, etc because I honestly wasn't really concerned about my personal growth. I really didn't like the idea of giving up everything to God. I really didn't. So, I didn't. I went to church with my family and all that, but usually I let my mind wander to other things. During Bible study before school, I honestly couldn't wait for it to end. I hated having to sit and listen to other's talk about the Bible. I really didn't care. It sounds terrible, I know, but I find it amazing to see how God works. I have gotten SO much out of The Truth Project (and we've only done 3 sessions so far!).

So, random bit there, but I thought it sort of applied. =)

Back on track again, I have made it another goal of mine to not assume with the Lord. I know there will be MANY times that I fail... but, as a wise person once told me, "'Failed' is just another word for "I have learned my lesson and now know how to do it differently'." Amen?

Trust Me Not

When you have a secret, be it big or small, you don't want to tell just anyone about it. You might tell a very close friend or family member, but you're not going to tell that 'friend' who you see on occasion. Why? You haven't built up a "Trust-Relationship" with them.

In order to share important or 'awkward' things with people, you have to know you can trust them. If you know a person is a blabber mouth, you aren't going to trust them with your secret or struggle because you know that by the end of the week, everyone else will know about it, too (and, more than likely, not in the real sense of what is going on).

There have been times when I have trusted a friend with a struggle or personal prayer request, only to find out later from a different friend that said first friend had told several other people about it. That hurts. It hurts to know that something you told a person and trusted them to keep secret didn't end up being so. Raise your hand if you've had that situation. I imagine all of us have.

It really does hurt, doesn't it? And once that trust has been broken, it's very difficult to build it up again to the same level it had been at before. Friendships are often times ruined because of these incidents.

I was remembering some of those incidents today and it got me to thinking. The only reason I don't tell certain people about personal struggles any more is simply because at one time they broke that trust. It may have been accidental (even I'm guilty of letting something slip without meaning to!), but it is still that image that you get from it that seems to stick in your mind.

I then realized that, if I don't share my burdens with others because of a lack of trust, I really have *no excuse* for not trusting God. When has He *ever* broken my trust?? When has He *ever* failed me? Never, never. Yet I have such a hard time trusting Him with things in my life. Will He provide for my daily needs, my spiritual needs, my desires? Can I trust Him with this certain thing I'm struggling with?

Hah. It makes me chuckle to think about the irony of it. Here He has NEVER broken my trust (if anything, He has always been building it up!) yet I can't even trust Him *completely* with small things like life decisions, relationships, books, etc. Terrible, ain't it? Yet there is the awful truth.

It also seems ironic to me that He gave us life, yet we somehow think we can take control of it. We somehow decided that we could make our own life decisions and take our own paths. And yes, we can, because He gave us that freedom, but if we are following Him, He has taken that freedom and is holding it to mold it into a better form for His will. Yet, He does it with our permission. How many times, when you're praying for a certain something, has His quiet voice asked you to give it to Him? How many times does He patiently wait while you struggle with handing your will over to Him so that He may mold it to match His? He asks, yet He still allows us the choice to give it to Him, or to hold on to it. Which makes us more joyful? I certainly don't feel joyful when I'm hangin' on to it!

As humans, we seem to crave this desire for chaos, drama, distraction, and stress. Before you protest, let's just think about it for a moment. What does your calendar look like? Do you feel your heart rate going up a bit when you think of all the things you need to accomplish today? Do you begin to feel overwhelmed with the looming task for school project?  We've all had our moments. Yet, if we were to give all of these completely to God and trust that He will give us the strength to follow through and get it done, life suddenly becomes clearer. You begin to feel like maybe you don't have such a mountain of work after all. It all comes into perspective.

But, the problem is... we rarely gave it Him. We might pray about whether we should buy that house or car and whatnot, but do we pray for small things like "Lord, help me to bless others today,"    "Lord, please use me to Your glory and let Your will become my will,". I know I don't do this every day. Sometimes, if I'm thinking about it, I'll send up a quick prayer, but I don't start out each morning thinking about how I can serve Him. I read my bible, do my devotion, check it off the list and move on to other tasks.

Now, I'm not saying other tasks aren't important. Unfortunately, we still have to fold the laundry, clean house, and feed our families. But is our main focus on serving Christ throughout the day? I tend to forget that just by treating my sibling nicely even when I'm really irritated with them is still serving Christ because I'm showing love to said sibling. Or that by doing the grocery shopping is blessing my worn out mother. Or that rubbing my sister's shoulders after she's had a stressful day helps to lighten her mood and makes her feel better.

Isn't this what Jesus would be doing for us? Didn't He wash the disciple's feet? That seemed like a small, unimportant task, yet it was magnified because of serving attitude.

So, are we trusting God to give us strength for these tasks? Are we trusting Him that His will is better than our own and that our life is really His and His alone? I know I struggle with this daily, and I greatly covet prayers that God would continue to mold me into His form. Yet, fleshly desires set in and I find the struggle becomes harder.

Next month my goal is start out each morning by placing my trust in God in things that have been bothering me. I won't do it all at once as that can sometimes become overwhelming, and I want each one to be a serious, heartfelt decision. Then I'm going to focus on keeping that trust and not taking it back. I would greatly appreciate your prayers, brethren, as I do this. I know that the enemy waits and does not falter in his watching for opportunities to snare his prey.

However, with a 'little help' from the Lord, I think I'll be just fine.... oh wait... I mean, the Lord will give me the strength to guard myself against the enemy. =)

When the Lord Teaches You to Let Go

Learning lessons is never easy- especially for me, it feels like. I seem to have the hardest time just learning and accepting. But ya know what? God never gives up on me. He continues to give me things that I can keep learning from.

Yeah, imagine that said in whatever way you want. The point is, I really don't like it when I know that my will is bounced out of God's will. When they aren't running in two straight lines together (or rather, when mine isn't running inside of His!)

The beginning of this year has already been bringing that feeling back.

In early January, my mom approached me with a question. She said she had really been praying and considering and felt that our drama group really needed to 'make the next move'. I've already mentioned something about our group splitting into two, so y'all probably know about that already. :-) However, what y'all don't know is that when my mom asked me to consider stepping up and directing the group, I knew my answer right away.

Have you ever had those "God Moments" where you just know God's answer right away? Sometimes it takes a long time and lots of prayer to understand what God wants you to do, but this was one of His 'right away' answers.

I knew that I needed to direct the group. However, I didn't want to admit it. I really didn't want to direct. I'm not cut out for directing, I thought to myself. There's no way I can do this! I act! I don't direct! Besides, I wouldn't even know where to start.

Doubts filled my mind for the next couple of days, but I couldn't get the little voice out of my head that said I needed to do it.

See, there was a little something that was having a major battle with that voice. It's called "Desire". Lots of us are pretty familiar with it, but we often forget that it comes in many forms. It isn't just a lustful sort of thing, but it can also come in more subtle ways. I desired to act. I desired to be part of the play, to be on stage, to do what I knew best.

Well, what I thought was best, that is.. Guess the Lord had some different plans in mind. So, over the weekend, I wrestled with the knowledge of what I knew I needed to do, and my desire to continue acting. I had to have any answer for mom by the time she returned from a business trip with dad. Pressure sometimes helps me take things a bit more seriously.

I prayed about it the first night and felt very strongly that I needed to accept. I denied it. I prayed the next morning, and the afternoon, and the evening and repeated it for the rest of the weekend. I still felt the same answer every time. I guess I figured if I prayed over and over, God would finally give me the answer I wanted to hear.

Well, as most of y'all know, I finally got off my high pedestal of 'I know better' and listened to what God was saying. And, quite frankly, I now agree with Him. I realized that this sort of thing would really help me mature in different areas that I had been feeling I needed to work on. It would pull me up and make me realize that I can't act like a 16 year old any more. It would teach me to step up to the challenge and do the best that I can, whether I fail or not.

I hate saying all that because it kind of makes me sound ill-equipped for life. Well, really, I am, I suppose. Taking my own words that I told the group today: "When we think that we have reached a point that we have learned all we possibly can and no one can teach us anything, then we have already failed."

So, all that to say that I told mom I would step up to the plate and direct. For the next couple of weeks after I accepted, I still had the desire to act. I desperately wanted to join mom's group, but I also felt that it wasn't the wisest idea. Not this semester anyway. I needed to separate myself, to set myself aside as a director. Yet I still really wanted to act. As mom began figuring out what play she was going to do and talking about it, I would feel rather upset that I wasn't going to act. The play sounded so fun and hilarious. I wanted to be part of that. Up to audition day, I wanted to be part of it.

Well, after auditions when we were deciding parts for both groups, Mom said that, if I was ok with it, she might need to pull me in after all because she wasn't sure she had enough people audition to fill the parts. Well, I jumped on that. I thought for sure this was God's answer to my desire to act.

Should have thought again.

Mom decided that I would do this very small part (9 lines). I accepted with alacrity. I was going to still be able to act!! Yet, as the days passed by, I kept feeling like it wasn't right. I just couldn't do it. And suddenly, I realized something...

I no longer had the desire to act.

It felt rather strange, and yet, it felt so right. I realized that God had replaced my desire to act, with a desire to be a director instead.

And it taught me a lesson. If we can give our desires to God, He will change those desires to meet His will. He doesn't want His children miserable, but sometimes we just don't want to follow His will. So, if we are willing to give it up, and give it ALL to Him without holding back, He will make us joyous and happy again by changing our desires.

It doesn't matter if you have a desire to marry, go on a missions trip, go volunteer at your local food bank, if that desire doesn't match up with God's will, you need to give it up and give it to Him. It isn't easy, I know, but it truly is the best thing in the world.

And, what would you know, God found us another actor to take the part that I wasn't going to be able to do. He provides everything in His plan. :)

So, onward Christian soldiers! Let us learn to follow HIS will, no matter what! And may we continue to pray for each other as we continue on our journey.

Persecuted....really?

I don't know how many times I have heard a Christian complaining about how persecuted we have become in America.  The other day I was thinking this over and started looking at the things that we feel we are persecuted over.

1. The fact that we can't say a prayer in public school without getting in trouble, or praying in a public place and getting weird looks

2. The fact that Hollywood puts inappropriate things in movies

3. The fact that when checking out at Walmart, one must make sure to keep their focus straight ahead and not look at the magazine rack.

4. The fact that SOMETIMES we get made fun of for our faith. (like people making fun of our modest clothing, the fact that we aren't into the latest music, or how large our family is...)

5.  The fact that our faith can sometimes make situations awkward.

Yeah, that's about all I can come up with right now.  Seriously?

I think that we really over exagerate when we talk about being persecuted.  Honestly, we have tons of religious freedom compared to other countries.

In a video I saw, a guy tells his viewers, "It's clearly an inconvenience, but ah, nothing more...."   When we talk about being persecuted, we really mean that we have an inconvenience to deal with.  Having to close your eyes during scenes in a movie or watch where you eyes wander in the store or getting odd looks because you dress modestly does NOT mean you are being persecuted.  It is seriously an inconvenience and that's it. Nothing more.

My sister got a neat book for Christmas called "The Narrow Road: Stories of Those Who Walk This Road Together" by Brother Andrew. It's basically about Andrew's life as he served the Lord.

The Forward is written by one of the guys in the Jars of Clay group.  Here is just a section of what he wrote that I want to share.

"In the Spring of 2000 I read an article about reliegious persecution in the Sudan.  Many more articles followed, along with some television reports, research, and a divinely appointed meeting with an activist named Steve Haas, the U.S. director of the International Day of Prayer for the Persecuted Church.
     It became very clear to me that sleeping behind church walls would not satisfy a God who hates injustice.  I had seen the pictures of toture victims.I had read the reports of women and children sold into slavery.  I had been confronted with the tales of murder, rape, and starvation.  But all I knew were stories that seemed to fill that morbid curiousity that draws us to car wrecks and real-life TV shows.  These people were not real to me.  They were not brothers and sisters.
     I needed to know these people.  I needed to hear them tell their stories.  I wanted to see how God met them.  It was this need that drove me and Jars of Clay to China and Vietnam to meet and pray with leaders of the underground church.
    We were never the same.
We cried with these people.  We rejoiced with them.  We laughed with them.  They laughed a lot- more than we thought possible, given their lives of suffering.  But it was in their struggles that they found great joy.  They are truly a suffering people, blessed by God."

That is just a small excerpt of the intro, but what a profound section it is!  The Christian Church in other countries is truly going through persecution.

Imagine living with a daily/nightly fear that at any moment, the police could come bursting through your door to drag you all into jail because of your beliefs.  Imagine, as a young woman, the fear of walking the streets because someone might rape you simply because you believe in Jesus.  Or, the never dying knowledge that you could be killed for it... or worse.

THAT is what persecution is.  What we are "going through" (if I can even title it as such) is NOTHING compared to what they live with daily.  I mean, they have to meet in SECRET to even worship the Lord together.  At least we get the chance to dress up, stand out from the crowd, and worship as we please.

Sure, maybe America will come to the point where we, as Christian, are being persecuted, but right now we are far from it.... and yet, look at the way we deal with it.  We are grumpy, upset, frustrated, etc.  Yet those people in the Underground church are worshipping with JOY!  They are joyful in the Lord, and they are being persecuted.  We are inconvenienced, and we are grumpy and frustrated. 

Persecution in America? No. It is clearly an inconvenience but nothing more.  I think that if we spent more time focusing on serving the Lord instead of worrying about all those menial things, then maybe we, too, will learn how to turn these "inconveniences" into an opportunity to be truly joyful.


I really can't stress how much it has suddenly frustrated me that the Church here in America can't act better. Now that is annoying.


In Christ's Service,
Sarah

Wishing You All a Very Merry Christmas!!

Hello all of my faithful readers!!!  I hope that all of you will be blessed with a very merry Christmas this season as we celebrate Jesus' birth!!

Below are two videos. Both are songs that I really like. (although, the first one does still give glory to santa, at least it is giving most of it to Jesus and definitely makes you think!)  So, please turn up your volume, make sure all other blogger playlists are turned off, and enjoy!  If I can get it to upload, I will share a video that my friend made.







Also, I put up a Christmas post at my Wordpress blog Here, so please go check it out!

Oh, and to those who want a White Christmas (Samantha!), I am praying you get one!!! :-) I think we may be snowed in, which I don't want to happen, so I will try my best to send it your way. ;-)

Keeping warm,
Sarah

Showers of Blessings and Walking with God

Have you ever felt like that beautiful Hymn was coming true in your life?  It is so wonderful when God heaps blessing after blessing upon you.  It's wonderful, yet I know I don't deserve one bit of it.  God just constantly puts me in Awe of Him.  Every day I will see something and just wonder at how creative, majestic, or loving God can be!  Don't believe me?  Just take a peek outside your window.  See that wonderful blue sky?  Maybe it's filled with billowing clouds-but those are a miracle, too!  I used to always wonder how those things used to stay afloat up there in the big blue.   Or, perhaps you'd prefer something a little closer to the ground.  Look at the trees! The flowers, the grass, even the dirt upon which you walk every single day, yet probably don't even think about for a second.

Isn't it amazing how God just blesses us with those little things in life?  Think of a little girl playing in a field.  Imagine her joy when she finds a pretty wildflower.  She eagerly plucks it from the ground, running to show it to her mother.  The girl finds such simple joy in the little flower she knows nearly nothing about.  She doesn't know that it takes millions upon millions of little atoms and molecules to form that budding beauty.  Yet, she just takes delight in the color of it, the look of it, the beauty of it!  To her, it is a wonderful thing to find.  Why should she worry over how many little cells are at work?

I sometimes wonder why we can't just take pleasure in those simple things ourselves?  That saying, "stop and smell the roses.." is one we really ought to take into heart!

Have you ever heard of some famous painter?  You've never met him, but you vaguely know who he is.  Someone mentions him often, so you decide to learn more.  You get a book from the library to read up on the guy, find out who he is.  Perhaps after reading it, you could care less.  Or, perhaps you read about him, and decide that he seems like a nice enough fellow.  Pretty soon, just out of interest, you've read every book about him and know just about everything there is to know.  It suddenly hits you that you've never seen any of his paintings... or perhaps you did, but you didn't pay much attention.  You go to a museum.  You find his work and stare at it in awe.  He was a wonderful painter!  He captures the onlookers attention with his colors and vibrancy in his life-like painting.  You are drawn even more to this fellow.  Suddenly, you have a small connection with him.  Not only have you read all about him, but now you've have seen his work and feel, almost, as if you really knew him.  It's a link from your world to his.

I think it's the same with God.  We read the Bible and find out all about Him.  How He saved His people from this disaster or from this enemy.  Yet, do we truly know Him?  Have you ever really studied those little flowers in the field and just marveled at His amazing Grace?  At His artistic work?  Or marveled at the fact that He took the time to make those simple flowers, to bring that little girl joy?

Although you might have read the Bible a hundred times through, I really don't think you will have the pleasure of KNOWING Him until you have really spent time with Him out in His fields, enjoying His flowers and nature that He has created. 

It may sound crazy to you, my readers. But I will say that I have never felt closer to God than when I am taking a quiet walk down the road, watching the Glorious sunset, and just thanking Him for the day He's given me.  It's then that I feel like I'm walking right beside my Abba.

I hope you can share in one of those walks, too.  Your day might be busy, and you might feel like kicking back and just relaxing, but really think about taking the time to spend with God. 

We should Never be too busy for Him.

In Christ's Service,
Sarah

Forgetting the smaller picture

I have posted quite a bit about remembering to not focus too much on the smaller 'picture', but to instead focus on the big picture (as in, not focusing on your hardships, but instead focusing on what God is going to do with those hardships, etc).

However, last Sunday while attending church at a friend's house, I was convicted of also looking at the smaller picture. Just in a different way....

We had been talking about how often we tend to stray from God's side.  One couple was sharing how their two dogs, Georgie and Gracie, were very different in personalities.   Whenever the Mr. was going to go out and check the water tanks, Georgie would stay right next to him, walking so close he would practically trip over her.  Gracie, however, tended to run here and there, chasing a bird there, running after a rabbit here.  Mr. would have to call her back to his side.  She'd stay for a while, then something shiny would catch her eye and off she'd go.

Well, one day, miss Gracie was running all over, her head up in the clouds, and she wasn't paying very much attention.  Unfortunately, she was headed right for a water tank that was 4 feet deep.  Being a little Corgi dog, she was only about 2 feet or so....  Well, sure enough, she jumped up to grab something and landed right into stock tank.  She sank down, then came bobbing back up, doing her best to stay afloat.  Mr. laughed, went over, and pulled her out.  She stood there, dripping wet, with some green scum draped all over her nose.

It puts quite a funny picture into your head, but then you apply it to your own life and it ain't so pretty any more. I am afraid that I am a Gracie... flying about here and there, anxious to do whatever God tells me, but not staying near Him long enough to really know WHAT I am supposed to be doing.

Mr. was explaining that he tends to fly about and just wants to do the task, but doesn't focus on sticking next to His Saviour to learn more and more about Him daily.  He just focuses on 'the big picture', in a sense.

So, in a way, we do need to focus on the smaller picture.  We have to be looking towards Him daily for guidance and strength.

I found this hit very close to home, if not straight on, for me right now.  God has already told me what I need to be doing after I graduate.  I am very thankful for this direction, as I want to have something to do to keep me busy after I graduate instead of 'drifting about', in a sense. However, when we were talking on Sunday, it really struck me that I had not been focusing on each day in the way I should have been.  I was forgetting to 'step and smell the roses' and enjoy the world God created!  I was forgetting to stop and soak in His love for me, and pour my love for Him back into the relationship. I was focusing *too much* on the bigger picture.

I know that, just like everything else that we have to work on, it will take time to get into the habit of focusing on my daily life as well.  However, I know I can do it with Jesus beside me, helping me along the way.  Isn't it wonderful to think that He will just pull us out of that pond, chuckling and helping us to learn to laugh at it, too, and then clean off that scum and help us start afresh?

May He guide you daily in the things you need to do!

In Christ's Service,
Sarah

Improving ourselves for Christ......? No thanks.

While chatting on the phone with a friend, our conversation brought up how difficult it sometimes is to 'improve ourselves' in Christ.
What does that mean, exactly?  Well, if you decide to open up a seamstress shop (or, for any guys out there, a blacksmith shop or gun shop... =D), you are going to make sure that you can do each job to the best of your ability.  You do this by practicing and practicing at whatever it is that you are doing.  For a seamstress, you would practice making things, working with different fabrics, learning to do to customized patterns, etc.  You wouldn't just open the shop and expect that everything would come to you when it needed to.  You would improve yourself in those skills.

The same thing, then, with improving ourselves in Christ.  Once we have become Christians, we have accepted a responsibility to act differently from the ways of the world.  We have committed to give up our sins, addictions, etc to serve Christ. Obviously, it isn't like these things disappear.  We must strive and work on them.

However, I know that often times I fail to do this.  I think, "Well, I don't need to really work on submitting joyfully to my parents.  I mean, I do it fairly well.  I do average."  It seems to me that we live in an 'average' world.  We always want the average for things... and we also seem to strive for being just 'average' in many areas.

If we are serving Christ, though, we must be striving for better than average.  More than 100%. Giving it our best shot with every breath we take. It isn't just about just barely making the grade so you can move onto the next level, it is about going above and beyond what anyone else would do.

In this world, doing this is our witness. When others see us serving joyfully, making sacrifices, helping to carry one another's burdens, they see something different.  They see a special sort of different. Because it isn't just our striving to become like Christ that they see... anyone can strive to be a better person without the love of Christ in them, but when we are doing it and giving all the glory to Christ in the process, then they see the difference and it makes them wonder.  What kind of God must they serve that they can JOYFULLY give Him praise in everything that they think, say, or do? What is so special about Him that makes them want to do it more and more?

We will get into slumps where it seems we can't go any further. But we can. With God's help, we can.  Christ gives us the strength to go on, to make that extra step, to go that extra mile.  He will give us the strength if we are willing to perform the tasks that He has given us.

"I do all things for the sake of the gospel, so that I may become a fellow partaker of it.  Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win." 1 Corinthians 9:23-24.

"Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance they race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." Hebrews 12: 1-2

Run the race!

In Christ's Service,
Sarah

For the "Challengers"

Howdy!

Ok, so May Amelia, one of the young ladies who have joined in the challenge, asked me when we were going to start.....  Well, I'd say let's 'officially' start next week.  That way it will give a bit more time for others to (hopefully) join in.

Here are a few things to keep in mind while doing this (we are NOT limited to this, just a few suggestions that I thought I would share).

~Try to post at least once a week.  If you can do/want to do more, go right on ahead.  However, make sure that you do post once a week.  This way we can keep each other accountable. :-)

~It doesn't always have to be something that God did in your life that week.  Sometimes God will do big things in our lives and sometimes we just have to be content with just being where we are.  However, as you read, if a certain Bible verse should stand out, post it!  I have had several times where I will be reading and a certain verse will stick in my head.  It may not really apply to what I was doing with my life at the time, but when I shared it with a friend, she would tell me that she really needed to hear that.  So, remember that we are here to encourage each other in the Word!!


Also, even after we have started, others are still welcome to join at any time.  If you feel that this won't fit into your schedule to post once a week right now, that is fine.  Just please join us whenever you can!!

One more thing....  To those that have taken the challenge, I am thinking about possibly doing an 'interview' thing.  Just asking a few questions about how you came to know the Lord, what are some things are that have been an encouragement to you as you go on your walk with the Lord, etc.   If you do or don't want to be interviewed, please let me know either way. :-)

May we Glorify God!!

In Christ's Service,
Sarah

The Job

This is from a piece of paper my Mom has sitting on her desk.  I think it is really neat, so I thought I would share with you all.  It kind of goes with my last post.

The job has been given to me to do.
Therefore it is a gift.
Therefore it is a privilege.
Therefore it is an offering I may make to God.
Therefore it is to be done gladly, if it is done for Him.
Therefore it is the route to sanctity.

Here, not somewhere else, I may learn God's way.  In this job, not in some other, God looks for faithfulness.  The discipline of this job is, in fact, the chisel God has chosen to shape me with... into the image of Christ.

Thank you, Lord, for the work You have assigned me.  I take it as your gift; I offer it back to You.  With Your help I will do it gladly, faithfully, and I will trust You to make me holy.

I don't know where she got it... Mom?? ;-)  Any way, I just thought it was rather neat and encouraging.

In Christ's Service,
Sarah

Serve Me... that is all that matters

How many of us, when we hear that a missionary who has been in Africa, or China, is coming to speak at our church, go 'Ahhh! What a wonderful, amazing person!  He is serving God in desolate lands' etc, etc?  I am sure many of us do (I am NOT excluding myself..).  
   So, when we hear, "Megan has been improving so much on having humble servitude towards her family.", why don't we go, "Ahh! How wonderful!  What an amazing person! She is striving to serve God with her heart!"? 
   I think that so often we tend to forget that the little things matter as much as the big things.  Sure, it is neat if someone is a missionary, or runs a ministry program.  However, why don't we look around at those are running their own private ministry programs?  They are sitting right beside you, perhaps, in church.  Standing at the other end of the isle in Walmart.  They are all around us, yet we don't give them praise.  They aren't asking for it, they don't need or want it.   They are just serving God with all their heart.
   Washing the dishes for you Mom may not seem like a big deal.  It is such a blessing to her, though.  Getting your brother a cup of water when he has been working hard may not seem like much, but it is.
   Mathew 25: 35-40. "Then the King will say to those on His right, 'Come, you who are blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world.  For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave me something to drink;  I was a stranger, and you invited Me in;  Naked, and you clothed me; I was sick, and you visited Me;  I was in prison and you came to Me.' 
   "Then the Righteous will answer Him, 'Lord, when did we see You hungry and feed You, or thirsty, and give You something to drink?  And when did we see You a stranger and invite You in, or naked, and clothe You?  When did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?'  
    "The King will answer and say to them,  'Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did to Me.'"

Those verses will remind us that even small things are big things in God's eyes.  We can never 'partially' serve Him.  We either do, or don't.  We can never 'serve Him well, or serve Him fairly well.'  We either Serve Him with our all, or not at all.  He doesn't look at the 'human size' of our deeds (the way we humans 'size up' the deed that we do).  He looks at our hearts to see the size of that.  Are our hearts intent on serving Him, no matter where He places us?  Are we willing to listen to His voice and be ready to rise up and go if He needs us?  And when He has told us what we must do, even if it is small in our eyes, are we going to be content and serve Him still?
   Remember His words in Mathew 5: 14-16.  "You are the light of the world.  a city set on a hill cannot be hidden;  nor does anyone light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on the lampstand so it gives light to all who are in the house.  Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father Who is in Heaven."
    The Holy Spirit will shine through us no matter where we go, if we are willing.  God will use us, if we are willing.  We must be content with where He has placed us, with what He is having us do, no matter what!  His plans are PERFECT!  He knows Everything.  There is no need to doubt Him in His plans. 
    Often times when I am praying, asking God if such and such is something He wants me to do, and I get a clear 'Yes', I sometimes say, "Are You sure?  I mean, are you positive this is where You want me?"  Oh, Ye of little faith! (Yes, I am talking to myself..).  Did God not just tell me that THIS is where He wants me?  Yet I doubted Him and His perfect plan. 
    There is a story about a certain family.   They loved the Lord and led a simple life.  They weren't missionaries in some far away country.  They didn't run a church, or run a ministry.  Still, they served the Lord with all their hearts. 
    They had a library that they visited fairly often, getting books for there school, or book discussion groups, etc.  They befriended a librarian.  She was sweet and kind and enjoyed them when they came in.  One day, whilst the children were looking for books, the librarian came up to the Mother and said, "What is different about your family?  What is it that you do?  Every time your family comes in here, I feel this peace and joy that seems to surround you."   The Mother simply replied that it was the Holy Spirit that shone through them.
   I tell you this story because I want to really point out that what we do matters.  How we behave around others matters.  Believe it or not, you are being a missionary as you walk through Walmart and talk cheerily to the grumpy cashier.  You are a missionary by going into a library, like that family, and just acting so different from the world, that they notice the difference.   Walking through Walmart

May we always be Lights for our Lord!

In Christ's Service,
Sarah

***All verses taken out of a NISB Bible

Day 18: A time when I felt passionate and alive

Right now! :-)  I feel most passionate and alive for Christ when I am serving others.  There is nothing that gives me more joy, especially when doing it in secret and not expecting at rewards.  Of course, I often times fail to do it 24/7, but I am trying to do it more.  Learning to not be selfish can be rather difficult, but with the Lord's help, NOTHING is impossible! Right? ;-)

One of the things that I am hoping to do very soon is visit children's hospitals.  Ever since I was little, I wanted to go to a children's hospital dressed up as a clown -at the time I was very into clowny things- to cheer up the kids.  I could make animals out of balloons, tell jokes, and share the gospel.  Well, when I talked to Mom about it (I think I was 7-8 at the time) she said that they wouldn't let younger children in like that. I had to be older.. around 18 she thought.  Well, I was discouraged and eventually pushed the thought out of my head.. Until a few weeks ago.  My friend and I were talking about what we needed to do with our lives while waiting for our husbands to show up.  We don't want to just lie around and do nothing with our time.  While one is single, we can take advantage and use it to serve others (as in, I wouldn't need to worry about taking care of my own kids, so I could focus on other ways of serving). So, we were talking and all of a sudden, the thought just came to me.  "I am almost old enough to go to the children's home!"  I got so excited I think my friend probably thought I went mad.. lol!
    I am really looking forward to doing that, if the Lord wills it.  If He does, then it will all work together and everything will fall into place. I just have to be willing to listen and take that step forward!
   So, my fellow Prayer Warriors, I would really appreciate it if you could pray for me that God would give me guidance on what to do with this.  My Mom and sister are looking into volunteering to go and rock little babies at the hospital (unfortunately I am not old enough or else I would jump for it!), so please pray that maybe an opportunity would come up.  Thank you!

Have a blessed day!  I may be coming back on here to post a rather exciting thing that is happening today.. ;-)  I am praying for JOY as I go about this...

Jesus
Others
Yourself  :-)

In Christ's Service,
Sarah