I'm Going on An Adventure!

It feels like summer to me. Granted it hasn't officially started by a calendar's standards.. but who *really* goes by that, anyway?

Summer is one of my favorite times of year. Which is funny.. because I think I say that about each season.. well, except for Spring. But that's only because it's always terribly windy here in the Spring, so it's not very enjoyable. =P

But I absolutely adore summer. Really do. For some reason it brings back very sweet memories. A certain smell or view... it just is wonderful. Hard to describe, but I have a feeling most everyone will get it. ;-)

The other thing about summer is that it seems to be the time to really get out and do stuff. That's the time you're the most free somehow.

Well, I had a ton of exciting stuff just land in my lap recently. Well, almost in my lap. ;-) First off, I had an opportunity to go and be a seamstress on a big movie set. I was ecstatic about that one. How cool would that be?!? I mean sewing costumes with a huge budget? Um yes please!! However, as I dug deeper into what would be required for it, I found out there were some things I really didn't want to get in to. So, that door got shut. But I have to say I was still pretty thankful for it, because it was a pretty obvious door. Sometimes they are hard to tell apart from 'obstacles' that you need to over come.

The other super exciting opportunity I've got coming up is actually acting with a big local theater. Albuquerque Little Theater. Some might know it because that's where Don Knotts and Vivian Vance (Ethel Mertz in the "I  Love Lucy" show) started out. So it's pretty big. I've seen a couple plays there and they are outstanding. And now, I finally have the opportunity to go and audition. Don't know yet if I'll get in, but hey, just being able to try out will be amazing!

And so all this has gotten me to thinking... all these amazing things that are happening right now.

I know a lot of my followers are single young ladies. Perhaps some of you are waiting for 'Mr. Right' to come along and sweep you off your feet. Others might not be waiting for that so much, but maybe waiting on some other big event to happen.

Well, with all these things going on, plus seeing so many people getting married or engaged, it's made me realize how extremely precious and unique my time as a single person is.

I'll say first that I know being married is a wonderful and marvelous thing. A visual picture of our relationship with Christ as His bride. So I'm not saying that its bad in the least- just sayin' that now.

But to go on from there.... our time as a single is truly amazing. You are, essentially, very free. I realize you might have a job or other commitments, yes. But if you really think about it, you're pretty much on your own.

And then you realize.. you have got all your resources available for something really important. You're not spending them on huge grocery bills for a growing family, or paying for your kid's clothing, doctors, etc. (again, those are definitely a *blessing* when you have them!). Instead, they are all there for your use. And you can use them for something really important.

Serving God.

Honestly, there is no greater calling on earth for a follower of Christ than to serve Him. Whether it be by serving Him in the home raising a family that follows in His footsteps, or you're out on the mission field.

However, as you look at the different stages of life, there are some things that are easier to do while you're single. For one thing, if you felt called to go on an extended missions trip to another country, or even just out of town, you'd be able to, essentially, pack up and leave. You wouldn't need to worry about making sure it was going to work out for your family and husband, or anything. You could just go. You could volunteer some place that takes up all your free evenings. You can go and bless mothers with baby sitting or regular nannying.

There are seriously a lot of things you can do.. yet, sadly, I see a lot of young ladies who are simply pining away for the day prince charming will arrive. Now, don't get me wrong, I've prayed for that day, too. But the thing is, I've come to realize that, you know what, that day may never come. Do I want to waste my *entire* life waiting and pining for something when I could have just been *living* my life? And better still, living it for Christ??

Statistically, not everyone is going to get married. So right there I know there's a big chance I may never get married. Yes, I'd like to some day if God brings it all together like I know He will when it's that stage of His plan. But until that happens or until I die, I want to live my life out to its fullest extent. God gave me this wonderful, amazing, and beautiful life.

Why waste it?

"My Lord, I have failed you..."

(This is originally from my writing blog, but I wanted to share it here, too)

Sir Hawthorn waited outside the King's chamber. He was nervous, which was unusual. On a normal day while visiting his King, he felt at peace, happy, and in awe to be in the presence of such a King as he had the pleasure of serving. But today... today was different. He had no happy tidings to bring, no questions or requests that needed answering. Today he was only to give an account of the recent quest he had returned from. 

"The King will see you now," the page announced. Sir Hawthorn jumped slightly, being drawn out of his reverie rather suddenly. He stood, nodded, straightened his uniform, and followed the page's lead. He tried to calm the nervous butterflies in his stomach, but to no avail. How was one supposed to even prepare for such a task as this?

As he entered his King's chamber, he took a deep breath and kept his eyes on the ground. He could not bring himself to look upon his King's majesty. Not like this. 

"Sir Hawthorn! My faithful servant, how are you?" The King exclaimed, coming down from the throne and extending his arms for a warm embrace. Sir Hawthorn ducked his head in a quick salute, but stepped back quickly to evade the embrace.

"My Lord, you will not think so highly of me once you have heard my news," Sir Hawthorn, eyes still lowered, willed his voice not to tremble. He had gotten the first part out. Now to just tell the news.

"What is it, my son? You do not need to fear telling me anything. Come, sit and talk," The King motioned to two chairs by a table. Sir Hawthorn reluctantly followed and took a seat beside his King. He felt ashamed to be sitting so near to Him. 

"Now tell me, what is it that troubles you?" the King asked, in a gentle voice. 

Sir Hawthorn did his best to keep the tears from rolling down his face, yet one escaped and slowly made a trail down his cheek. "I have failed you, my Lord. Yes, I have failed you," the last words were barely whispered.

"Ah, I see..... I believe I know what you are talking about," the King answered, slowly. 

"What? But how could you? I've only just returned," Sir Hawthorn replied, confused.

"Yes, that is so. But I still know. You feel you have failed because your recent quest failed. Is this correct?" 

Sir Hawthorn stared at the King for a moment, surprised. "Yes... yes, this is so," 

The King smiled sadly at Sir Hawthorn. "My son, you did not fail me. Not in the way you think. Your quest failed because it was a quest of your own making. I did not send you on the quest and you did not even seek my permission,"

"But I saw a need, Sire, and my desire to serve this need was great!" Sir Hawthorn argued.

"Indeed! I saw it was so. But still, this quest was not of my making and therefore, you feel as if you have failed because your quest did not end as planned."

Sir Hawthorn sat quietly, realizing his King's words were true indeed. 

"My son, did you receive my letter for the quest that I would have had you go on?"

"Yes," Sir Hawthorn replied quietly, once again looking at the ground in shame.

"And did you receive them before, or during your own quest?"

"Once before, sire, and once during," Sir Hawthorn replied, beginning to realize where this was going.

"Indeed, it was so. I knew you had gone on a quest of your own. I knew you were thinking of going on this quest before you even went! This was why I sent you the instructions for mine. And when you still left for your own, I sent you instructions once more, in hopes that you would listen and return home."

"But, my Lord, I felt that there was greater need for my quest. That it was more... important."

The King smiled sadly and looked into Sir Hawthorn's eyes. "And that, my son, is where you are very wrong. No quest of mine is too great or too small for the one I have given it to. You need only listen and fulfill that quest as best you are able in order to please me. I cannot make you go on the quests I send you. I do not want to make you. I wish for you to serve me with your whole heart and willingly because you choose to do so," 

"Yes, my Lord," Sir Hawthorn replied. "But the fact remains, that I *have* failed you,"

"Nay, that is not so. My quest is still standing. It still needs to be done. And there is time to complete it."

"But, my Lord.... I feel.. I feel as if I am not able to complete it. Not without your help," 

The King smiled and took Sir Hawthorn's hand. "And my help I will certainly give you, my son. You need only ask and I shall be by your side," 

Sir Hawthorn smiled and bowed his head, "Then I have only to receive Your instructions once again, my Lord, and I shall go on Your quest."

Have you ever felt like you 'failed' the Lord? Like He had given you a task to do, but somehow that task got lost among the many other 'bigger' things you could be doing?

I know I've had it. Many, many times. In fact, I had it just recently. The sense of failure. The knowing that I wasn't doing what I was supposed to be doing.

See, as a writer, we sometimes get stuck in this sense of 'must be doing, must be doing'. And we're finding out what the most popular genre is at the moment so we can write some epic and amazing novel to put out there on the shelves of millions of book stores around the world. We start losing track of what our main goal is.

My most recent one was NaNoWriMo. I've written before about why I love this contest, so I won't repeat it again. But I was ready to participate and win and write a novel that I would publish and would become New York's Best seller, etc, etc, etc.  But I had something missing in my plan. A really big thing; God. I didn't have God in any of these plans. Sure I sort of halfheartedly prayed that God would give me inspiration and guidance on how to write this novel, but I wasn't focused on serving Him in it. I was focused on serving myself. I was tired of only being known as a 'children's author'. I wanted to write something my friends would read and actually enjoy. I wanted to write something that would become popular and talked about. I, I, I, I..... it's all about self.

So one evening, while driving home from work, I turned on the radio and heard a song. I don't remember what it was called or who it was by. But I do remember this... it was talking about "less of me, more of You, that who I want to be,". And the words struck a chord in my heart as I realized, "Lord, I have failed you. You gave me a task. A task that I thought was too small and not big enough. I got caught up in what the World thought of me instead of seeking You on a daily basis,". I started crying. Because you know what? This wasn't the first time I'd made that mistake. No, sir. I wish it was, but it wasn't.

As I cried, asking the Lord for forgiveness. And as I prayed, He said to me, "You haven't failed. Do the task that I already gave you and seek Me on it."

And so, feeling renewed again to go about my task, I began afresh. And isn't that wonderful that we can do that? That the Lord's mercies are new EVERY morning? It's beautiful and humbling.

So I 'failed' NaNoWriMo. I didn't get in a word count. I didn't get very far in my story. But I learned something far more valuable from it than I could have ever learned on my own. I may never come out with some big novel that hits the top 10 in book stores. Yet I will have something far better because it is the task, the quest that the Lord has given to me. And it is my honor to complete it, despite what others say, despite what I think, and despite the nagging that Satan gives me to tempt me to do something else.

And I have a feeling that this time, with the Lord by my side on His quest, I won't fail.

When God is Sufficient

It happened again last night... the recurring dream/nightmare. I'm not really sure what to call it. All I can say is that as soon as I awake and find that this wonderful thing I was dreaming of is not real, I feel immediate heartache. Sometimes even while dreaming I think to myself, "This isn't real..." and the heartache sets in early. No matter when it comes, though, it does arrive at some point.

Have you ever had a wish, a desire for something and just felt like it was always out of your grasp? Either by circumstances or other odd reasons?

I have a dream/desire. It's one that is very close to my heart. Yet it always seems like it will be impossible to reach.




So last night when this nightmare (or dream... which is it anyway?) kept me from sleeping well on into the wee morning hours, I kept waking up with that old familiar ache. It's hard to explain, but if you've ever suffered loss or had a desire so big for something it hurt to think about it, then you understand. Needless to say, I was frustrated. Why did this have to hurt? Why couldn't it be filled with excitement or something instead? But no. It had to ache.

I drove to work this morning, the pain still fresh in my heart. I was thankful that I would have the distraction of several awesome kids to keep my mind off of it, but I dreaded the long, lonely drive home.

My day went well. I had so much fun with my nanny kids. There is nothing quite as satisfying as being around kiddos who are just awesome and adorable and amazing and sweet and funny.. =)
However, as I walked out to my car, the old feeling crept in again. I tried to keep my mind off of it. Cranked the radio up to drown out my thoughts. but it didn't work.

Finally, while listening to the radio DJ asking if we were taking time to really get 'plugged in' with God, I had the lightbulb moment of 'duh, pray about this'. Now you might be laughing at me and thinking, why didn't she think of that sooner? Let me explain a bit more about this 'thing' of mine... I have had a very hard time praying for it because I sometimes feel convicted that I need to just be content where I'm at and quit asking God all the time to change things up. That He has me right where He wants me and when He's ready for that to change, He'll let me know... the other half of me realizes that it isn't wrong to lay our desires at His feet. Our heavenly Father wants to know how we feel, what we want, etc. But we also need to be content when the answer is 'no'. So I've always found myself in this conundrum. How do I pray for the desires of my heart but also be content? So in any case, that's where I've always been and that's where I was at when I realized that I should just pray.

So I turned off the radio and just poured out my heart to God. No better time than when in a quiet vehicle. =)

I basically just said, "God, you know my heart. You know this desire of mine. I don't know why You've kept it from me, but I do know You have a plan that I need to follow. But I just have a hard time understanding. Are you placing this desire so strongly on my heart because You are trying to prepare me for it? Or is it simply there because *I* want it?"

I sat quietly for a minute, thinking....

"God, are you trying to give me a sign that this IS going to happen?"

I immediately think how silly this is... it's not going to happen. So quit getting your hopes up... and oh if this ache would only go away!

"God, can you please just give me a sign on whether or not this is or isn't happening? I could bear it if I knew... even if it wasn't going to happen.. or even if it was, just several years down the road!..."

My prayer trailed off as I heard, very clearly, "Sarah, my child, am I not sufficient for you?"

My plea stopped dead. Was Christ sufficient for me? Or had I allowed my dreams and desires to take first place in my heart?

It slowly dawned on me that yes, Christ was sufficient. I didn't need a 'sign' that this was going to work out. All I needed was to remember that I have a Father in heaven who is going to give me the best that is in His plan. I don't need to be worrying about it because He has it under control. He holds the world in His hand!

Just like that, an unexplainable peace flowed over me.

I smiled out at the world around me.

Folks, I serve an awesome God! The God who cares SO much about me that He sent His Son to DIE on a cross, be buried, and rise again just so that I, a worthless sinner, could sit with Him in heaven someday. So that He could lavish me with His love and unfailing mercy. There is nothing to describe the joy that wells up in my heart when I think about it. My God is awesome. And I mean that in the most majestic way.

So yes, Christ is sufficient. Does it mean I won't still desire for this dream of mine every so often? No, but it does mean that I can look back on this and gain that same peace that Christ IS sufficient.

"For The First Time in Forever..."

"For the first time in forever, I'll finally go outside! For the first time in forever, I'll enjoy a new sunrise!
Don't know if I've been too busy, but I'm going to change that now! 'Cuz for the first time in forever!!!!!! I'll be doing something fun!"...


Ok, if you were able to sing along with that and actually keep it in rhythm, then you, my friend, are one amazing person... kinda like me for being able to write that all out.. But who's keep track anyway? ;-)

However, to go back to my little diddy, I was finally able to get outside and do some work today in my flower garden! I haven't done a flower garden in about 2 years or so because time just got away from me. And lately I haven't had much of a chance to enjoy the outdoors because 1) it's very windy out or 2) I was busy doing other things.

So, today I resolved that I would go out and work. So very glad I did!! The weather is so lovely... a few lazy clouds hanging in the sky, gently floating by. A light breeze teasing my hair from it's braid (which is actually really annoying but yeah... sounds fun to say). Oh! and the birds are singing sweet melodies to one another. It really is so very lovely out.

In any case, Caleb and I decided to go out and work on some stuff. He didn't realize I would put him to work when I invited him to, ahem, come outside with me... lol! But he seemed to have a fairly good time as we worked together.

Gardening/landscaping/working outside is one of my all time favorite things to do. But I never get a lot of it done. Silly, right? Well, I've been reading through this really neat book, "Be Well, Live Well: 14 Simple Ways to Excellent Health", authored by a friend of mine, Jeanne Drennan, and I've really enjoyed all the practical things she gives to help you on your way to, well, excellent health. One of them was to get out and do something you enjoy. That's far better than sitting around doing nothing. So, I decided that that would be the first change I make. It helps my overall attitude during the day to get out and 'get dirty', so to speak. But since I love the outdoors so much, it seriously does put me in a positive mood. (There are scientific facts that would show WHY I feel this way afterwards and about how great it is for your body to be outside, barefoot in the cool dirt... but I'll save that for another time).

In any case, I'm following one of the 'simple ways' and already today I feel fantastic. =) My lilac buds are doing so well (and for anyone who doesn't know me or hasn't gotten it from my blog title already, those lilac bushes have played a fairly big role in my growing years!). We're supposed to freeze again tonight, so I'm thinking I'm going to go out and take some extra precautions with my bushes to keep them from dying again.

So, what have you done on this lovely day? =)

Also, I'm really excited to get some new blog posts underway here. I've got some fun ideas up my sleeve so stay tuned!!

(dear me, I hope I don't say that too often without following through!)

With The New Year Comes New Things

Hello readers! Happy New Year! It seems so very odd that 2013 is already gone. It went by rather quickly, it seems. 

A lot has happened this past year and so I thought I'd give a basic highlight of the more major things in my life. 

1.) I have been teaching fiddle to several students. Although I've had a couple students in the past, this year was when it really became more serious. I took on more students and am quite excited about it. I'm planning on doing a couple of recitals this year. 

2.) Drama. Play drama, that is, not the real drama. I have been extremely blessed to be part of ABC drama since it first began. I have always been interested in acting, and having this group has really helped me to develop my skills while still being in a family friendly, God-honoring environment. This fall semester I was blessed to get the role of Elizabeth Bennet in the play Pride and Prejudice. This is a role I have wanted for a rather long time. It was a lot of work, but definitely worth it (300 lines anyone?)

3.) Got my drivers license. This was definitely great for me. Because I'm starting to branch out and beginning to do my own things apart from the family, it has really helped. Not to mention that mom and older sister love it that I can run to the store for last minute shopping instead of them. ;-) I'm still getting used to it and haven't gotten comfortable enough to drive in big towns yet, but I'm getting there. 

4.) I got a job. Yup! This was quite exciting. I've learnt, over the years, that money really doesn't grow on trees. And when you are trying to save up or need cash for gifts and whatnot, it really is quite a bother that it doesn't. So, the Lord blessed me with a job. I am now a Nanny. Sounds kind of odd to say it, but there it is. :-) I go once a week for a wonderful, godly family. It truly was amazing how the Lord orchestrated this, but that is a story for another time. :-) 

5.) I got a book published. Seriously. A lot of you have already seen it, maybe even read it. It is a children's book and the Lord gets all the credit for it actually coming about. If you want to learn more about it and that, you should check out my author blog at sarahelizabeth-author.blogspot.com. I'm currently in the process of writing another children's book (sort of the 'second' in the 'series'). 

6.) We are filming a movie. Yup. That's right. Though it isn't professional grade or anything, we are filming nonetheless. It has been quite an experience. It is a 'medieval' sort of movie. A friend and I wrote the script (took about a year and half) and it has now almost been a half a year since we have been filming. Still not finished, but almost. I did all the costumes (which was quite the fun undertaking!). I am also co-director, cameraman, actor, and stuntsman. ;-) lol! 

That is probably it, although I'm sure I'm forgetting something. When you get old, it happens. (yes, apparently 20 years of age is very old, according to some of my friends... I've already been dubbed a 'senior' and 'ancient'). ;-) 

So, now that the old is out and the new is in, what am I going to do? Well, here are just a few goals I'm hoping/planning to accomplish. 

1.) Music. I really want to incorperate more music into my life. I've recently been learning more guitar stuff (finger style and adding new chords to my 'library'). I know the fiddle, but you can always learn something new. So I want to continue growing in that area. 

2.) Sewing. I actually did a lot of sewing due to the movie we are making with some friends, but I'd like to do more sewing this year on a more casual basis. Such as clothes for myself or crafty items. I'd also love to try my hand at refashioning. 

3.) Read more. Yup. It is very difficult for me to read a lot. Mostly because I read very slowly, and I have a hard time finding books that can really hold my attention that are still good literature. So, my resolve is to read more this year. For real. 

4.) Do better at keeping up with friends. This last year was so crazy, I feel like I really lost connections with friends near and far. I really want to make sure that doesn't happen this year! 

5.) Blog more. Blogging is something I enjoy, actually. It gives me a chance to write out thoughts (which is a good exercise for writers!). And I get to meet new people! That's always awesome. 

6.) Make it a healthy year. I have not always been so health conscience in my daily habits, but this year I'm determined to do better at that. Eat better, exercise more, etc. Trying to remember that my body is a temple of the Lord and I need to treat it as such. 

7.) Audio drama. Although I love movie/film making, I kinda feel as if I weren't cut out for it, really. It's been rather difficult for me to get a lot done in that area. One thing I have had a lot of 'luck' with is audio dramas. I have done several radio dramas with some friends (short ones, granted) and this year I plan on doing a big project. Can't reveal anything about that yet, but you'll get to hear about it eventually. :-) 

8.) *Really* dedicate time to the Lord. A lot of people make this sort of resolution (me included) and I want to make sure I really do keep it this year. I'm not a perfect Christian, and, therefor, I have failed in this area many times. However, a new year brings new beginnings, and "His mercies are new every morning". So, I shall begin anew. Mom gave me a great daily devotional that I'm determined to go through EVERY DAY. My brothers and dad also got one and my brother challenged the other two to get up early enough each morning to read the devotional and spend time in God's word before work/chores/school/play. I'm rather proud of him for that and I'm taking on my own challenge as well. :-) 

I think that is about it. I know I've got a lot of others, but these are a few of the main ones I want to focus on. 

What are some of your New Year's Resolutions?